Hi. First of all, you're in the right place and you're not alone. Millions of men and women struggle with addictions around sexual behavior. Next, you should know that there is a whole network of support available for you. Depending on your preference, there are 12-step groups (similar to AA for alcoholics), there are therapists, there are faith leaders, and on and on. We highly recommend trying to connect, in person, with someone like that because meeting other people who empathize and don't judge is a really important and powerful step in the right direction.

As for your questions, addiction is a dysfunction of your brain's reward system. You've come to rely on sex as a means to feel good and avoid pain. It's developed over time. You might be genetically predisposed to it. But whatever its origins, it's not a reason for shame. No one chooses to be an addict. But now that you've woken up to the problem, you do have a choice for how to respond. Finding recovery from any addiction isn't easy, but it is so, so, so, so worth it.

So, to sum up, here's what we'd recommend. Find a group or therapist or faith leader to talk to - whichever one you're comfortable with is fine. Your options might be a little more limited because you're living abroad, but there are definitely still lots of options. You can check out options at our web site, pornhelp.org (the site is specifically oriented toward problem porn users, but the groups/therapists/etc. listed there all cover sexual addiction, not just porn). The site is free and doesn't require sign up or anything - it's just a resource for people like you who are struggling.

Good luck and feel free to contact us anytime with questions or issues. And congratulations on reaching out - you're already on the path.