Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
I'm frustrated by my hubby's family's reaction to their dad's/ex-husband's upcoming wedding. My father-in-law has a sex addiction. My MIL divorced him about a year ago (it was final about 6 months ago). My FIL is supposedly in a treatment program that is court ordered (got in trouble for putting camera in the women's restroom at his business which he lost to his ex-wife in the divorce). Is he truly ready to get married...that's not for me to judge. My husband and I keep strict boundaries with him due to his past history and having 2 young children to protect. He sees our kids under mine and hubby's supervision a couple of times a year. I was one of three victims in his camera in the women's restroom violation (the other was his now ex-wife and a 30 year old female secretary). I have chosen to forgive him (although I don't forget or ever put myself or children at risk). Hubby and I are going to the wedding, but our children are not (one is only 3 and the other has autism, so big events stress her out; we have decided it's best for them to stay home with a sitter). We've gotten tons of nasty comments and crap from hubby's mother and sisters. They say we shouldn't go at all. Hubby's sisters aren't going. They have refused to even meet their soon to be step mom. Hubby, the kids, and I have met her once last spring. Is it wrong to go to a wedding even if you aren't sure he's far enough in his recovery to commit to someone?
Perhaps instead of thinking in right or wrong terms which incidentally are judgments, you could look at it from an even more personal angle which is: Is this affair (the wedding) going against your values?
I, personally, would not attend because my attendance would imply that I am agreeing with the premise that is okay for a sex addict for enter another sexual relationship when he is still not fully recovered. It would be something I am not comfortable doing.
While it is true, that it is their business and what nots, my presence would be endorsing such unhealthy relationship. In other words, my bottom line is this, it's fine that you want to be an addict but do not involve me in any way with your addiction.
Again, I'm rather tough when it comes to these things, I realize but at the same time, we need to see when we are complicit in behaviors we do not find acceptable. you know? After all let's say that his sex addiction rears its ugly head and he would come to me and say, "Well, I've been like this for a while and it was okay for everyone." I can then say, "I would not say all, I did not attend your wedding, recall?" See what am getting at?
It's up to you but it's something to think about long and hard.
My two ruble's worth,
Wolf
In my view, the ones who object have a good point.
I hope you will feel okay about this in over time.
You are more than welcome. I find the best way to solve a problem or a quandary is to approach it from an entire new perspective. One that has not been considered before.
Hugs,
Wolf