Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
What is the general stance on masturbating while trying to resist the urge to watching internet porn (or whatever sexually arouses you on the interent)? In my previous failed experiences I tried to go cold turkey and both times failed miserably. I attempted to cut our internet porn and masturbation at the same time. What happened was I became unbearably horny all the time. By day 5 I was getting erections from the girl handing me my coffee at the drivethrough. By day 10 I caved both times and masturbated in the men's room at work because my female coworkers started to look so sexy to me that I was fighting to urge to ask the one that flirts with me all the time if she wanted to have a fling after work (which I knew even if she was cool with it would be disastrous longterm, especially since I was in a relationship). I think I can fight the urge to do the internet stuff but I don't think I can fight the urge to masturbate. It's almost a necessity for me because I start to feel too strong of sexual urges without doing it.
Ethical porn? Maybe being free of negative consequences for the dailystrength member, the people on screen, and society?' Possibly?
Fyi I feel the following is related, but scroll past if it's not. This all makes me wonder how much it will take to rewire my fantasy life to Ethical Fantasy Only. I successfully stopped porn and masturbation for over a year with my last girlfriend. Sometimes though, during our sex I'd still get fantasies/flashbacks about the sex abuse in my youth/ iinappropriate porn (for me). So still having porn addiction issues even without compulsive masturbating. So my experience is that a good partner, who knew my struggle, helped me give up porn, and even masturbation. But relating to the question posed, can healthy masturbation happen after porn addiction?
Fyi this time I'm counting on therapy+accountability-software+abstinence. Integrity ahead
In February I started SA, for addicts its no sex with selves or someone other than your spouse. Porn becomes so addictive and destructive, I tried stopping plenty of time and nothing ever worked because I did not recognize or deal with why I was watching porn. It got worse and worse as normal sex did not do it for me any more. It got to where smut porn and lude sex was the only thing that even did anything for me. Yes I had terrible withdrawals at first, could not sleep, was physically in withdrawal.
In "Kingdom Single" he talks about masturbation, and even the bible talks about it. Yes, it is ok, but can you masturbate while God is in the room? Because God is with you all the time, in your good times and bad.
What could you be doing instead of porn? in stead of masturbating?
The brain is tricky, if you do something enough times it becomes a normal, and once you normalize something it becomes boring.
Every time you get off on porn, you will need more and more vile porn to make it work.
So instead of masturbation, without your spouse, what else do you enjoy doing that will relax you and relieve stress?
Dissipating really got to me. Sexual energy drives charisma, charm, interpersonal attractiveness, and a host of other influential traits. Once you get to the place beyond all the broken and limiting messages of trauma, childhood addiction setup, and realize how valuable I am to the world when my potential is driven by purpose rather than being relegated to biological pressures, or situations, then I have the esteem, confidence and definitive certainty that cheating, out of control sexual conquesting, and masturbation (in an uncontrolled or non-nurturing way) is a WASTE of sexual energy that is more poerfully channeled into different energy. In this context its not a moral or character failing to masturbate every once in a while to enjoy the experience, nurture my sexual needs, or play with my wife by doing it together. It is a use of sexual energy that I get to choose where to put. And as a young man without clarity of purpose, a biologically driven distraction that DIssipates or sidelines your impact on the world. Its much easier to say no, when there is a bigger yes in mind.
Not really much about the whole addiction sobriety process as much as I am into the idea that all addictions are coping mechinisms, and not the real issues. When you chear the real issues, which are usually based on a limited belief about your value, then the addiction looses its grip,... so to speak.