Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
I met someone on a sex site. After chatting for only a day, I went to his place for a few hours this morning. It was fantastic. He says he wants to make it an ongoing thing and I hope he does. In fact, I would go back tomorrow. The thing is, I am married. I also went to the home of a strange man who could have been dangerous for all I knew. The sex was unprotected. He told me he has had a vasectomy and that he is clean. I took his word for it.
The thing is, if I had it to do over again, I probably would do the same thing, notwithstanding that hindsight is 20/20.
I have become a serial cheater. There have been two other men in the past 8 months or so. I had unprotected sex with both of them. Before that, my affairs were emotional or online (bad enough, I suppose).
Is there an epiphany...some kind of knock on the head that makes you realize that you can't keep doing this? I have no guilt. I have urges that I can't satisfy with my husband or with toys. I know I am playing with fire and I WILL get burned. How do I get to the point that I don't want to do this?
The thing is, if I had it to do over again, I probably would do the same thing, notwithstanding that hindsight is 20/20.
I have become a serial cheater. There have been two other men in the past 8 months or so. I had unprotected sex with both of them. Before that, my affairs were emotional or online (bad enough, I suppose).
Is there an epiphany...some kind of knock on the head that makes you realize that you can't keep doing this? I have no guilt. I have urges that I can't satisfy with my husband or with toys. I know I am playing with fire and I WILL get burned. How do I get to the point that I don't want to do this?
Are you still having sex with your husband? What about the risk to him?
The fact that you don't feel guilt is a red flag. What about shame? feelings are you conscious of?
Really, the only thing that worries me is the risk of disease and getting caught that way. Those worries surface mainly after the fact. I don't feel guilt. I guess I do feel some shame, but probably not as much as I should...
The morning I went to see my anonymous stranger, I did text him and told him I had a cold and would have to take a rain check. He texted back and talked me into coming anyway. So there was at least a part of me that did not want to go.
Tell someone in your real life who can help you get a handle on this. If willpower was enough, you'd have stopped by now. Some things are just bigger than you are, and if you can't value your Self enough right now then you need to tell someone who can.
I am aware of the dangers. That is why I had cold feet and texted that I would need to take a rain check. He texted back and talked me into coming. When I got there, he asked why I was nervous. I said 'You could be an ax murderer.' He just kind of laughed that off. I guess it's difficult for men to see things from a woman's perspective\.
We had real sex once and he says we will again...
I believe you want the help..otherwise you would not be posting here. Your addiction is talking to you and it will not stop. Eveything you are saying to yourself is referred to as "stinking thinking" in Twelve Step Sxual Addictions meetings. Please try and get to an SA Twelve Step meeting. They will teach you "one day at a time." If you try to do more than this, the task will always become more overwhelming than you can possibly handle. You can live "one day at a time." Thanks for posting and keep sharing...you have support here.
I went back today. He really is a nice person who shares a lot about himself with me and seems to want this to be an ongoing thing. So I am torn about what I want to do.