Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
I have the problem of watching too much porn. I know I shouldn't watch it so much, but I can't help myself. If I don't pleasure myself at least once or twice a day while watching porn, then I will become very nervous. I have been trying to quit this behavior, but there is always some trigger that turns me on. What should I do?
P.S. I don't feel like going cold turkey. That is not an option for me
P.S. I don't feel like going cold turkey. That is not an option for me
If you're a real sex addict, you will not be able to stop the compulsion, that is why it is considered an illness. Ask yourself, do I not have the power to stop the compulsion to watch porn and please myself? Also then ask yourself if that compulsion always leads to negative consequence, like increased nervousness leading to more compulsion and acting out?
If you're a real sex addict, you can try til the cows come home or til your completely exhausted from all the attempts, and you still won't be able to stop. Recognizing how powerful sexual addiction and how manipulative the sexual addiction is subtly and as a perversion was key for me. Admitting I am dealing with an illness that functions in too many ways for my human spirit to handle alone, leaves my mind open to others help and suggestions.
Triggers happen from character defects, there are things in our characters or personalities that provide the mind with excuses to use, triggering it to think wrongly that acting out is good for us. The "good" it sees is the relief, but it is a temporary relief, the real relief is the continual effort to fight the good fight, not kicking yourself you get down from a relapse, and treating others more acceptably.
Read the SAA literature and consider it without any judgment, the removal of judgment will provide clarity, and the growth of clarity and understanding then can be created.
In closing, eliminating any option if a real sex addict is dangerous, if cold turkey defeats the beast, making it not an option could provide an unnecessary downfall that could have been avoided. In the same breath though, I respect your identifying that something might cause more of a problem, so again, read the SAA literature and consider what it says about the three circles, maybe you can engage in some middle circle behavior to avoid the necessary pain of the "cold turkey" approach. The cold turkey approach really only is difficult and hard for a week or two, and if looked back one or two weeks of pain, is a small price to pay for a life time of happiness and better understanding of it all.
Great job reaching out though, this is a road less traveled solution most never accept or become willing to adhere to, you're already winning by wanting help.
Have a great day.
It seems that you are defining your options based on what you feel like doing. Breaking a pornography addiction requires that one go against what one feels like doing.
Further, I'm not sure I have any advice if "going cold turkey" is off the table. To me, that's like asking how to get control of one's cocaine use without giving it up completely. I don't know that one can. I've known people who've quit using pornography (including myself) but none who've done so gradually. So, if it can be done, I can't tell you how, because I've never seen it happen.
I recommend checking out the site yourbrainonporn.com for some insight on why pornography is so addicting and what it takes to break free.