Hi ya'll, where to start? I'm here for the same reasons many of you joined. I need help and find it hard with an addiction to pornography to be open about it. Long story short (and I will gladly open up about more details in time) I had a severe relapse after 7 months of sobriety. Though I was sober from internet porn, I still viewed dvd's or frequented strip clubs. I read in the description of a sexual addiction that many people experience a trance-like state which I can relate to. I quit my job last March and found a new job beginning of April. One week into my job, I was surfing my Facebook page and saw a suggested post which led me to a page (which I'll keep anonymous) that depicted arousing pictures. I was immediately in denial and obsessed with looking at it for about 2 weeks. At that point it only got worse. Then I got laid off.. With no money from being out of work I couldn't go to those bars and fully relapsed into online porn. It got to the point where I knew it was a problem and even tried the old trick of marking on a calendar each day I was clean to give myself encouragement. But the relapses kept coming Truth is I have a few issues aside from this like depression and codependency on my girlfriend who is in prison and recovering from a drug addiction, as well as codependency on my therapist. I quit smoking pot 8 months ago but didn't quit drinking, and I don't use drugs other than alcohol and coffee. I will post more on my codependency and depression in those threads. But I feel this problem is the most urgent to address. Today is going on day 3 without a full relapse. I know I have a problem because just a few hours ago I logged online and off again 5 or 6 times with the intention of relieving my stress and anxieties, as well as to punish myself for outing my girlfriend to her Dad for fear that she may have relapsed in prison. I don't know this but I see the signs and so does he. I also feel guilt and shame for viewing porn while I have a girlfriend, like I've cheated on her. Anyways, everything's telling me this isn't healthy for me (the addiction and codependency are feeding into the depression and cascading into a repetitive cycle). So I viewed a page for about 5 seconds, logged off and had an anxiety attack. At that point I searched for online support groups and found this one. I appreciate from what I've read that most of you are honest and respectful in your replies. I guess what I want to get out of this is an outlet where I can go while I'm having impulsive urges in order to keep myself in check. I know it's ultimately up to me to control myself, but writing all of this to you is replacing the time I could have been spending looking at that stuff and feeling bad about myself afterwards.