Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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Max937 10/06/2020

Hi -
I just joined this group, and I'm happy to have found it.
I've struggled with a porn addiction for many years, and I've tried several times to get over it but haven't been successful. I know I have to give it up, it's such a waste of time and energy to sit there and scroll through pages of porn videos that doesn't accomplish anything. The sad thing is that it has impacted my relationship with my wife and my sex drive for normal sex. I've been married for a couple years now and over that time we haven't had a lot of sex. I find that our "vanilla" sex doesn't compare to the sex that I see in the porn videos, which of course is ridiculous! It's gotten to the point where I recently started watching other porn (like 3somes, gay) to kind of "push" the envelope for me to get excited. Four years ago my wife found out that I watched porn and I promised her I would stop. Recently she found out that I have been watching it over the last few years (I have tried to stop, but never could). And she also found on my search history gay porn that I had watched. I am straight and I love my wife and I want to stay married to her, but I am not sure what to do here. Obviously I need to first get over the porn addiction. I've also noticed that with my porn addiction, I also drink probably more than I should, wine mostly. I think I've come to associate the drinking with getting relaxed before bed, but it's too much and my wife doesn't like it. I've done some research online and the best advice I've found is to have a plan of action to help you get over the addiction, so for me I'm planning on not drinking or watching any porn for the next 90 days (Jan 4 2021). I know it may be hard and that I'll have to take it one day at a time, but I want to finally kick this habit once and for all, and hopefully salvage my relationship in the process. I'm hoping that reading the other incredible stories on this site will help inspire me to continue with my own efforts to get over my own addiction.

eab88 10/06/2020

You have the determination and strength inside of you to get over the porn addiction, and wine addiction. You can do it, Max. Is your wife supportive? Do you have anyone else to help you? Keep coming back, whether you’re struggling or not. This is a safe place.

Max937 10/06/2020

Thank you so much for your support. I needed to hear that. My wife is generally a loving and supportive person, but right now she is angry with me for having not kept my word to her that I wouldn’t use porn, more than the porn itself: Not sure what that means tor our relationship. I will take it day by day.

I think people generally don’t understand that a porn addiction is not just about turning off the website to stop. There are a lot of underlying feelings to work through.

I have reached out today to a counselling service to match me with a counsellor to talk about my struggle with porn and what I am doing to get through it and finally put it behind.

I wish all of you good luck and I will keep coming back to this group to check in and see how others are doing.

I am finding all your stories and struggles to get through this addiction inspiring.

eab88 10/07/2020

I agree, this group is very helpful and supportive. It took me a long time to quit porn the first time and I was all by myself. But this time, I have my best friend to lean on, and this group.

Prycejosh1987 10/13/2020

Get someone in your family to help you. There must be medicine out there that helps sexual desires.

TheNewMichael 10/14/2020

Hi Max937 I'm hoping youre ok with me asking. How was your first week? Did the counseling start? I'm grateful I was in therapy already when I had to come to grips with my porn addiction. I'm also glad I found such caring people in this group who pointed me to other good ideas that give me confidence I can succeed. Best of luck on your path cousin!

Nationals2019 10/14/2020

Hey I feel for you, I struggle with the same addiction. It is very consuming and distracting from living a full life. It seems like will power for me is a key issue. Do you have any recommendations on how to stop or minimize the problem?

Max937 10/14/2020

Hey all
Thanks for the words of support. I am now about 12 days without porn or masturbation, and I am happy about that. My goal is to hit 100 days.
So far I have had one counselling session which was good. I was told about a support group (SLAA.org) that my counsellor recommended I attend. I did that last night and found it really helpful to share my story with others dealing with similar issues. My counsellor also told me about. Brain Buddy an app that tracks your progress abstaining from porn. I have been using that too and think it’s helpful.
Regarding my wife and I, I have had some very frank chats with her - the trust in our relationship is gone because I lied to her, so she is coping with a lot right now. We will see how things develop. What I am learning is that I have to go on my journey of recovery as much as she had her journey to go on. I am trying to be understanding of what she’s going through while still being open to my own journey.
That’s it for now. Best wishes to all of you on your own journeys. And stay strong!

Prycejosh1987 10/20/2020

I think you could try obtaining a medicine online. Addiction recovery takes time.

Max937 10/20/2020

What is the name of the medicine?

Martino 10/21/2020

You are a porn addict. Admitting it is the first step. The next step is to ask your wife to help you. If she agrees, you'll have someone in your corner to keep you on track. You won't be able to do this on your own at first, but with someone else working with you, you may have a fighting chance to get control over this addiction.

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