Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
PLEASE HELP! I have been with my incredible girlfriend for 2 years and we both want to spend the rest of our lives with each other. For the most part our relationship is amazing and we love each other so much, however my behaviour and lies have put our relationship in jeopardy. Roughly 6 mnths into our relationship she found out that I had been having online sexual conversations with other women. It took time but we managed to build trust back up until she found out it had continued and I hadn't stopped engaging in this behaviour and continued to lie about it. This was 1 year ago now, so it has been 1 year since I have not engaged in any behaviour where I have messaged another person in a sexual fashion. I have continued to watch porn however, and have downplayed how much I watch it to my girlfriend. Trust was built back up until recently she discovered I had viewed a sexual instagram account and removed it from my search history. She says she doesn't so much mind that I did that, moreso that I lied about it. Then again today, I told her that I had viewed 3 instagram model accounts instead of just one, which I had lied about. My behaviour is gradually improving as I have not watched porn in a number of weeks, but it is the fact that I cannot be 100% honest that is the reason I have put our relationship in such a bad position. The most recent lie, where I told her I viewed one account instead of 3, is so insignificant, as I know she wouldn't have cared if I had viewed 1 or 10, but the fact I lied is the major issue here and I cannot figure out why I lie like this. I need help and I need to figure out how I can take actual action to correct my tendencies and stop lying. Thank you.
Sex addiction is a nasty one. My sex ed came from playboy magazine. Tits and ass. there is more to a relationship than sex. I'm just fiuguring that out now and I'm 50 fricken 2. I would, and am , developing a friendship with this women that I love. Never done that before. Don't think I would be able to either except that she has a boyfriend right now.. I had to put my penis away.
I am seeing her in a new light man. I never thought that I could do that, but one day at a time. I saw her as a person and not an object. She is amazing and what maters to me at the present is her happiness. As well I am going deep into myself to heal old wounds cause if I don't I will die out there... alone and afraid.
Be honest to the best of your ability.
That's all we can do as far as I can see.
all the best
Have a great day:)
Sounds like you're on the right track. Telling lies or telling the truth are habits. You were routinely dishonest for just over 2 years. You can't expect yourself to be 100% truthful right away any more than you could expect yourself to run a marathon after sitting on the couch for 2 years.
What you did was the right thing. Demand honesty from yourself and demand it as fast as possible. Sometimes that will be immediate and sometimes it will mean having to come back to tell the truth later. If you're truly pushing yourself, the times where it's immediate will start to happen way more often than the times where you wait.
Also, make sure you have someone in your support system that isn't your girlfriend. You're doing things that hurt her so she can't be solely responsible for keeping you accountable. It will be unsustainable.
Good luck man! Addition is a struggle.