Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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tman28 10/13/2020

Hello everyone hope you are all doing well and staying safe out there. I dont really know how to word this correctly but im just gonna go out there and say it. I have a bad addiction to porn onlyfans in particular. I have tried and tried and tried to do everything in my power to stop it because I have so much to be thankful for. I have a nice job, a beutiful and amazing woman that I will soon marry with a bright future ahead of me. My fiance and i have talk this over before and i swore i would stop and TRULY from the bottom of my heart I want nothing else but that. ive done it multiple times since then and am truly ashamed of myself and hate a part of me for doing it. Every time I tell myself "this IS the last time no more" and for about a month I dont touch it. But then eventually something just switches in my head and I can't seem to stop the urge. I have fought it and fought it but every time it always prevails sadly. I dont really know what im saying in this post or what its meant to be and if some of you hate me because of this I totally get it I deserve it. But if there is even one person out there that can understand me PLEASE...I need help anything to help me wrap my head around this so I can live my life and enjoy the bright future ahead of me. Im not a bad guy really im not I want to live my life without this ugly side of me haunting me. I'm not looking for anyone to feel bad for me all I want is for someone to please understand me and to know im not alone.

Max937 10/13/2020

I think I understand where you are coming from.

I am coming to realize that I am a porn and sex addict. I’ve felt shame for many years and have wanted and tried to quit more times than I can tell you.

My situation is a bit like yours. I married my wife about a year and a half ago and have known her 4+ years.

My marriage is in a bad place right and don’t know if it will recover or end due to me lying repeatedly to my wife. I was hiding my use of porn and being a sex addict before meeting my wife from her. Now she doesn’t believe me when I say I haven’t cheated on her (which I have never done).

Having said all that, I am looking for help. I have reached out and started counselling with a therapist who specializes in porn and sex addiction. He has provided me with some resources to read including an app that helps track my progress at abstaining from watching pornography. So far I have made it to 9 days and intend to keep going.

The road to recovery is long and challenging but worth it.

Fear driven by shame is what kept me from sharing any of this with my wife. That shame was reinforced from being from a conservative family, also societal norms of what “normal” is. But I am hoping to work through this shame and fear to recover from this addiction.

tman28 10/13/2020

Thank you I Truly hope I don't get to that point with my future wife. I WILL beat this for her. I need to have a real 1 on 1 talk with her and hopefully I still have a future wife after we are done. I think if I have her keeps tabs on me with how I'm doing that should help. Is there any way i could get any of those resources or that app or no? Not asking for all but any resource you have would be of great help. Thank you for your reply.

TheNewMichael 10/13/2020

Hi-new guy here. I googled best porn addiction apps and found a Dr recommending some. Several had an accountability feature. I'm getting one today, and hopefully my therapist will do it with me.
Try and stay healthy alright?!

gnomes101982 10/13/2020

I know what you are going through. First off, congratulations on being able to make it even a month without porn. I have successfully made it 10 days twice in the past 2 years but it got bad. Both times I wound up being so overly desperate for the feeling that I wound up locking myself in a men's room stall at my office and masturbating because after not being around porn for that long I was finding myself attracted to actual women like I haven't been since high school days before I ever watched a second of porn.

Relapses are going to happen. I can't tell you how many times I've bargained with myself "okay, this is the last time. I'll just shell out money for a custom video, get it out of my system, then never again." It doesn't work that way. This is tough because it's hard for me to give you advice when I can't fight the urges myself. It's good you have family that are aware of it rather than doing what I have done which is keep it a total secret from my girlfriend. The best thing I can think for you to do is forgive yourself, understand we are all human and humans are vulnerable beings, and start a new ballgame.

tman28 10/13/2020

I will try thank you you as well. I'm going to beat this for my fiance come hell or high water.

Prycejosh1987 10/13/2020

Let her hold you accountable for watching porn and hold your passwords. You should be more intimate with your partner. I do not watch porn much when i am in a relationship. Its almost non existent. If you are still watching porn despite having a partner, it means you need to do something.

MemphisWH 10/13/2020

What worked for me as the SA program, a therapist, and reading the bible before i acted out, which stopped the need to act out.
I am single and its my choice but before I can ever enter into another relationship I have to understand why i do it, writing in my journal daily helps.
Going to meeting all the time helps, talking to others in the same situation helps.
Admitting when I am weak.

fluffyslipper 10/13/2020

Personally I think paying for only fans or giving another woman money would be considered as cheating.

Prycejosh1987 10/20/2020

I know you are not a bad guy, but you can make things right if you have done something bad.

1759Guy 11/06/2020

I am addicted to porn and sex and it has taken me a long time to admit it and even try to get help or talk to someone. You are taking steps in the right direction by opening up here. This addiction does get a hold of you and holds on tight. You can break it by recognizing the triggers and then breaking them and doing something healthy for you, taking a walk, exercising or coming here for support. Relapses can happen, don’t beat yourself up. Pick yourself up, dust off and move forward towards the healthy life you see for yourself.

Discover 11/06/2020

I think it would be really helpful to you to drop the guilt and the shame. It only keeps you stuck to the past & serves no purpose . This maybe more of a compulsion instead of an addiction since you’re able to stop it ( even for if it is just for a month) . I’m in a similar situation when I use porn and masturbation to relieve anxiety, but I’ve found that it’s totally uselees to beat “ myself “ over it & make grand promises that it’ll stop for ever. In a sense , that very promise is making the problem more real or “serious “ . Now you’re in a contest that most likely you can’t win & when you “fail” is going to make you feel miserable. I guess the best approach would be to deal with this as some alcoholics do, which is one day at a time. If you didn’t use porn today that’s already an accomplishment. Of course; this is only a superficial answer. To treat the problem at its root requires to understand how you’ve been conditioned not only by society & your culture but also by the force of your own habits but do this without judging. No positive or lasting change can come through coercion or “ self hate”. I find helpful to listen or read people who have explored the subject of awareness such Anthony De Mello or Allan Watts. They’re both in YouTube and are also somewhat popular writers. I wish you the best of luck and would also appreciate if you have something to share

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