You're not alone. And you can stop. We are all here to share our strength and encouragement, because we know it can be done. Tell us what's up.

Sounds like a broken denial structure.

What feelings, beliefs, and attitudes lead to the denial being created in the first place?

For me it was always feelings of being vulnerable, hurt, bullied, and not important. My beliefs I am finding might be the most harmful, I don't honestly believe in equality, I think other things than God will absolutely solve all problems, and I thought my thinking wasn't that wrong. I found my thinking as a default was wrong. I naturally resort to wrong thought, especially when I don't know what to do. My attitude has always been poor or entitled.

All of this lead to a wall being built by my ego and my addictions that there was no problem inside the wall, it was always on the outside of the wall. What I've found thank God is the solutions are all outside the wall, and my problem is in the core of what is behind the wall.

Very simple, I am the problem when it comes to any addiction I might either abuse myself into or be born naturally with, however within that problem the same problem promotes "no problem", so whenever I am convinced there is "no problem" I can assume correctly, I am a problem for all.

Loving, understanding, and non-problematic people have been the solution for me, and it all comes from a God I can rely on and trust, even if I don't understand the process.

At least you know, some never get that far unfortunately.

me too

Today it is far worse. I cannot stop thinking about it! I can't.

I try but I can't.

LonelyAnne - For me, "I" could not stop. Not on my own, I couldn't. I was blessed with brothers that picked me up when I fell. Blessed with brothers that I leaned on so that I wouldn't fall. In the end, Celebrate Recovery was my first step in finding the healing for the hurts that led me down the road of poor decisions, Poor decisions which manifested in many things, including porn and sex addiction. I pray that you surrender your battle and find sisters that will walk along you on your journey.

I am an only child.

Hi LonelyAnne, my SAA fellowship are very welcoming. You can find people who know exactly what things are like for you. Why don't you try one of the telemeetings if you can't get along to a face to face meeting.