First off it is not easy for me to ask for help when I am the support for the addict. However while I feel he has made tremendous progress I feel that I cannot trust him. I was hoping this feeling would pass and soon. I find myself constantly wondering what he's doing when I'm at work, in the shower, or even when he's in the bathroom for long lengths of time with and without his phone. As time has gone on...less than a year I have been disrespected by finding him talking to other girls on dating sites. Says they are friends. The dating sights are gone now as far as I know but the other girls are on social media and have his phone number now. To finding a masturbation mess all wrapped up in a wash cloth laying on the desk where he knew I would be doing homework when I got home from work that morning. Then there's finding naked pics of girls in his contact list on a phone that I pay the bill. Once again says.....I haven't talked to her in years. As I said said before.....they are gone as far as I know. We have had to go through and delete all the pornography stars and nude models and just the "fun time" girls from social media. The Twitter and Instagram accounts were deleted due to his inability to behave himself. I have all passwords to all computers and Facebook accounts. However, I don't use them. Partially because I am afraid of what I will find. Simply because when I browse the friend list Russian roulette style I find another partially naked woman. When I entered this relationship I had no idea the depth of his addiction. As the secrets have been uncovered I feel like the other woman. He has made tremendous progress but I still feel like there is no trust. For months every time I turned around there was pornography, evidence of masturbation, nude women. All while I am willing to have all the sex he wants. I find that I am always the one asking for it. He tells me no rather often which leaves me feeling rejected and highly suspicious. I feel ugly that he chooses to look at other women over me. I've caught him Damn near drooling while in public. I have always had high self-esteem and now I feel undesirable, not good enough because I can't keep his attention, like his last resort. I want to have sex with him and only him.I don't look at other men because he is all that I want. So all the other women, make me feel inferior. Particularly when most of them are very unattractive. He had a quite lengthy black book that was recently deleated after I found nude photos in his contact list. Now being in a committed relationship I would have thought all of that would have been gone but it wasn't until I found it. So I find myself constantly asking what else is there????? What secrets are left to be unturned????? I love this man more than anything and want this to work. I can't help but feel these things when I feel like I've already been lied too, taken advantage of, made to look like a fool, among other things. I am rejected for sex sometimes once a day. So while he wants me to ask and tell him, I can't. I feel so belittled that he watches movies with naked women and that excites him and I don't. That he'd rather masturbate than have sex with me. So naturally when he says yes I feel like it's pity sex because he said no recently or he will just think of someone else while we have sex. This insecurity will likely ruin us if I can't feel like I can trust that I am what he wants not just what came along. I need serious help here.