It's an uphill battle for sure but it is one you can beat. Get someone who can hold you accountable. Also when You feel those urges look for alternatives like a hobby or a task that you do instead of porn. Something to take your focus elsewhere. But most importantly. Don't beat yourself up when you fail. Your human and we all make mistakes.

Ironwoman43I would suggest seeking professional help. Being molested and raped and then forced to watch porn will definitely skew the reality of a healthy sexual relationship. I have struggled with pornography my entire life. I had a pretty normal upbringing, wasn't molested or raped, but started to watch pornography because I wasn't sexually active and was curious. Porn definitely sparked my interest and I was then seeking it day and night.

Find a therapist or a support group or both to help you sort through your feelings. Be strong, don't let the guilt or feeling of disappointment stop you from seeking help. Forgive yourself as the Lord has forgiven you, he gave his life for you. You have taken that first step to recovery by acknowledging that you have an addiction, bask in that realization. And always remember that you are loved.

Oh, please don't be hard on yourself. You have a LOT of things going on with this that aren't even your fault - namely your brother. I can relate to the feelings of guilt and disappointment from years ago. I think you should tell a therapist.

As for the porn addiction part, I haven't even admitted I have a problem, although I think I did for decades now. It's enjoyable and very much part of the 'human condition'. But, yeah, the last 2 years I was doing it more or less 12 hours a day for a LOT of days. Not taking care of my chores or life and not even having fun after a while. So, I guess I just recently noticed that I might have somewhat of a problem because of what I just said and wanted/needed to take care of my self and really enjoy life to the fullest and hopefully meet a real woman. And so that's what I just have been starting to do. I'm not trying to say goodbye to porn altogether, but mostly cut way down on it and enjoy the fullness of life. In other words, don't exactly listen to me because I don't consider it such a problem like everybody here.

Take my suggestion here with a HUGE grain of salt - don't view porn/love/lust/kink in such a bad way that much AND see a therapist to talk about all this and try focusing on hobbies, real relationships, and the fullness of life more. I say try not to be so hard on yourself or the fact that you keep watching porn.

Find someone from your church family you can open up to. I did it to a small group for example. You will have freedom and a new outlook of where to go from there. God doesn’t always give us the full picture. Just the next step. You will gain allies and you will no longer need to hide. No longer need to hide. No longer need to hide.

Pray continually