Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
hi, first time poster here. I'm a gay man in a relationship. I often find myself cruising for sex in public toilets, I do this at least once a week. my partner is not away. I even go out of my way to do it. it wastes a lot of time and I do wish I could stop, but it doesn't cause too much concern for me right now.
the main concern for me is that I often to to meetup groups (not sex related st all, it's actually a board games meeting). I find it really difficult to make friends as if I'm even moody attracted to them, I'll no doubt try to sleep with them. this stops me from making a real connection and true friends. also it means that when I'm with my partner I have to avoid social situations where there might be someone i hooked up with there.
I really find I can't stop. it consumes my thoughts a lot of the time. and I feel really alone as I have nobody I can be honest with about this.
Perhaps what might help is asking yourself these questions:
1. Why do I seek out these things?
2. What kind of root issues/motives is behind this abnormal perspective of other people I socialize with?
Perhaps you might be able to relate, but I have trouble trying not to think that a woman is into me just because we have a great conversation over a cup of coffee. So I try to focus and remember the CONTEXT of our relationship; she has a boyfriend, and I'm not ready to have a relationship yet-plus, its just coffee (despite whatever fantastical situation or cheesy under-plot is brewing in my head).
This helps me keep whatever false perceptions I have at bay; while also keeping me more open and level-headed to get to know someone in a genuine way. It won't be easy at first but it could help make things less complicated (for lack of a better term).
Inwardly, you also might want to do some soul searching if this is becoming a real issue. I don't want to be judgmental, but your sexual activities are probably reinforcing this type of social behavior/perspective of others you interact with.
The line between being friendly and being flirty seems to have become blurred for you...and this might be rooted in certain personal issues-such as past trauma or insecurities that you have yet dealt with properly.
It could time to be honest with yourself and understand that you have a problem-and that it could affect those around more negatively than you or I might suspect. Just to be safe, I'd be open with your partner about this, or speak with a trusted friend that you're neutral with.
Above all, there is also no shame in seeking professional counseling...its been at the very least a very insightful experience in understanding why we do these things, and what we can do to effectively treat ourselves with the right help.
I'm sorry for preaching for so long! I know I can be long-winded at times. Hopefully, this might help you a little in sorting out what you need to.
God bless you and my you find your peace!
I'm in the similar situation and yes I still do the running between public washroom even though I'm in a relationship. I've slept with almost all of my circle of friends. I would like to go to a meeting but I dont know what to say to my boyfriend.