Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
How do you all cope with the urges and falling back into your addictions? Seems I took two steps forward only to find myself back in the same place I started.
I've never dealt with addictions before, I mean I've sorta been around them a bit, thought I understood them, but guess from the outsider you can never really know until your their yourself.
I just don't understand why this is so hard, my mind says...simple...stop the online chatting PERIOD. I deleted the accounts, deleted the websites, but here I was today again falling back into the trap. What makes this so hard and seeming impossible to get away from???
I've done drugs in the past heavily, drank heavily in the past...both for years at a time. When I wanted to quit, snap, I quit. I always told myself I was not an addictive person. Just seemed so simple.
So does this mean deep down somehow in my twisted mind, I really don't want to stop and that's what's keeping me going back????
I've never dealt with addictions before, I mean I've sorta been around them a bit, thought I understood them, but guess from the outsider you can never really know until your their yourself.
I just don't understand why this is so hard, my mind says...simple...stop the online chatting PERIOD. I deleted the accounts, deleted the websites, but here I was today again falling back into the trap. What makes this so hard and seeming impossible to get away from???
I've done drugs in the past heavily, drank heavily in the past...both for years at a time. When I wanted to quit, snap, I quit. I always told myself I was not an addictive person. Just seemed so simple.
So does this mean deep down somehow in my twisted mind, I really don't want to stop and that's what's keeping me going back????
First accept the fact that you are not in the same place you started, because you are here looking for support and help. That puts you in a different place.
As for why you could stop drinking and stop drugs but cant stop this, I would venture to say that maybe this is filling a void that you can't seem to fill any other way. Doesn't mean the battle is lost, but you might have to work to figure out why you keep going back.
In my battles I have to think very carefully each day about my thoughts, and why I crave the things I do. I am far far far from winning, but I have come to realize things about myself and why I have slipped back into bad behavior more times than I care to remember.
One thing I have learned from this support group is that I am not alone and that I can defeat this. If you realize that then you are ahead of the game, no matter how badly you feel right now.
I wrote that a while ago it may help.
Also, relapse is a part of recovery. Each time you learn to go longer between relapses.
So sorry Sierra about your struggles. I am not sure why it's so hard to give up online chatting but I think it's probably because it offers an escape from feeling lonely and a connection. Alcohol and drugs might numb the feeling but hookup sites can numb the feeling and allow you to chat for hours and hours with strangers.
The best advice that I can give you (beyond what Richard wrote) is to try and avoid loneliness by not being alone. I plan my leisure time very carefully do that I have tons of community around me. I don't let myself stay at home alone and get isolated. That really can lead to trouble. Can you make more friends? Join a social group or community organization? Church? Mosque? Sport? Someplace where you can "chat" in real time?
1.if u know or feel that in ceratain times of the days you watch porn so permenantely close the latop and remove the cable and put the laptop away
2.main reason is spare time, you don't know what to do in ur spare time so you believe that porn will pass your time for an hour or 2 , so you do it
and the solution for this is you get new good habits.Write a paper of the new good habits you want to do, like :
1.running everyday(and increase one lap daily or 2 minutes for example to make it exciting and nice)
2.swimming pool
3.read books
4.play games
5.out with friends
6.online support (ex: make sure you give one hour of your time daily to answer questions in this website on any support group like cancer or other)
7.work on your future(if u r an engineer, read books about it or try to work in the same field)
8.find a goal that you will stop for it
9.listen to inspirational, motivational songs
10.A very very Important thing is you always think about your problem and never forget that you have a problem. don't let the life makes you forget what you are stuck into.
finally, check out this video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7dLU6fk9QY
good luck
Mostafaa, Thank you as well for the advice. I do have hobbies and activities I enjoy. It's interesting looking back over the last 3 or 4 months as my addiction got worse (I'm seeing this now, but didn't then) that my interest in them has dwindled considerably. Amazing how this addiction can take over us and we don't even see it....what's that saying, cant see the forest for the trees!!