First of all, that you have been able to put this addiction behind you is AWESOME. I think most of us in this group can relate to the inner strength you must have had to find to change that.

I think you are wise to be cautious about this, because it doesn't sound like you and this man have built up strong mutual trust yet. If you had, you would not have felt the need to keep information from him, and he would not have felt the need to doubt your answer.

I would think it would be better to start with a more general answer like, "I have made mistakes in my past that that I deeply regret. I've worked hard to put that behind me in the years since. I will tell you more about it once we know each other better."

You could then gauge how much more to tell him based on that -- maybe not right away, but based on his response to that over time. Is he mortified at being with a woman with a "history"? If so, he probably won't be a good companion for you, and there is no need to get into specific with him.

If he is patient, respects your boundaries and respects the person you've become, you can open up to him more over time. Again -- I would not give too much information at once. First, you might generally explain that you struggled with sexual addiction. Knowing more details might be too painful for him, and it is not unreasonable to withhold details as long as you are not lying to him. For example, you could say, "I'm not ready to go into more specific detail yet. I don't want to hurt you too many details."

Eventually, he may need at least a ballpark figure, but I would be very careful to avoid being more specific than necessary, for his sake as well as yours.

I would not lie, but then I would not tell him either, and sometimes they don't really want to know anyway. There is a song too,, that asks and then says,, 'but I really don't want to know'. If he is wondering how he might measure up to your ex'es, well, the answer is, like johnny cash's song.. "Like a Soldier" , "not one of them matters now". If he wants to know if you are a virgin, you can be honest and say that you have had some sexual experiences but that you would like to forget them and would rather not talk about them." If you gave a number, and he doesn't believe it.. I wonder how he knows you're lying, or if he is guessing that you lied,, then.. I might say something like, "Listen, I'm not a virgin, and years ago I did some experimenting, but I'm in a different place now,, older and wiser."

From the SA White Book (paraphrased):

'We suggest that one not reveal their sexual past to someone who does not already know of it, without careful consideration and even then, only after prior discussion with a sponsor or therapist.

Few things can so damage the possibility of a healing as a premature confession where the sacred bonds and trust have been violated. Great caution is advised here.'

I have heard many stories where a SA confessed thinking it would clear the air and relieve guilt only to suffer pretty severe consequences.

I think early on in a relationship is not a great idea to tell him...see where the relationship goes before you start giving him views into your past.
honesty is always a good thing, but why does he really need to know exact numbers? Other then the fear of STD's that was your past, that you aren't proud of, and that you have dealt with.

You shared, "I gave him a decently low number bc I don't want to shock him." "hes been telling me he knows im lying to him..." "we r still just getting to known eachother and what if he turns out to be no good and goes and tells everyone."

Well, it sounds as if you're starting out the new relationship based on lies. Not good at all. He seems to be aware that you're lying for some reason. Again, not good at all. You're not really getting to know each other if you're starting out lying. And, you obviously feel that he's immature enough to share private information. Not good.

Others here have suggested that you let him know you're experienced but it's behind you. Sounds reasonable to me, where outright lies are not reasonable to me. That is, if you want an honest relationship. Sounds like you do. So, why the lies? What will that gain you?