Nobody knows about ny addiction. Everybody believes that I'm a normal guy, or even a cool one. The truth is that I'm terrified. I don't know anymore how to keep lying to all girls that I tried to have sex, because truth is there was only one time – and I'm 38yo – I had normal sex without any disfunction problems and, yes, i have this issue because of pornography. First, I used to watch regular, ordinary stuff, but then, things got way worse, until I crossed a line recently. But I know I'm not like this. I know this is because of the dopamine, which is something I'm always blindly searching for. I installed 4 blockers on my cellphone, but I always find a way, mostly using my notebook. I'm too embarassed to ask for help, because I need to keep helping my family and they have to see me as a good man, not this weak and absolutely lost person that I became. I had so many dreams when I was young, but I feel so far away from them now. I feel old, scary and hopeless. I wish you, guys, have a better story than mine, because this is almost too much. Thanks for the support.