Yesterday was a breakthrough for me. 

For all the times that I have been exposed to porn, it nearly destroyed my desire for my spouse. When I consumed that content, I was setting myself up for unrealistic expectations. Also, my mother set the bar too high when I was a virgin. She promised that when I got married, I was going to have more sex in Marriage. When my spouse was feeling pressured all the time by me, she felt scared and unloved more than I knew. When we were dating, I admitted to having an issue with Porn. She stayed regardless of that. I'm so blessed to have her in my life. 

I realize that Porn truly kills desire for real people. It almost did for me. When we had some time together last night, it was better than any porn site I used to go on. I'm 2 and a half years clean from my addiction and I plan to keep making progress. The pressure I gave my wife was part of my past habits when I consumed porn and it made me feel rejected, unloved, and ugly. 

I now understand that she does care for me, she does love me and she is with me. She has just been pressured all her life, forced to do things she didn't want to do and didn't have a chance to make her own choices. As her spouse, I shouldn't make her feel that way. She is attracted to me, and finds me desireable, but she needs that time to feel comfortable and secure. We just recently moved to a new place and it's getting better, but her family issues and stresses make it hard for her to get in the mood, or in a place where we can have more intimate time. 

Therefore, I will support her, love her and do my very best, (Not be perfect) to love her and make her feel safe.Do any of you feel this way? I would like to hear your feedback below 

Thank you

-Domingo