Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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faithrebuilt22 07/20/2016

i haven't been on here in awhile, in fact last time I was on I had a different user name, I believe it was alexisday however I couldn't remember my log in information nor do I have access to my old email I used for it. No worries though because that was my married name- I'm back to my maiden name. Sorry to the point.

It's been a rough year from what I went through with my now ex-husband and his choice of porn basically over his family. My reason for writing this post tonight is because I have a series of questions for Thais female partners or sex/porn addicts.

I'm a single mother of two, at the age of 28. I'm pursuing my masters and I work part time. I am in the process of moving yet again for the third time within a year :(. I am in no way done healing or close to where I want to be 14 months out from a separation/divorce. I am starting to finally feel better, but not 100%.

I have had a few guys reach out to me and want to be more than friends, though there was never an attraction in fact I saw my ex-husband in each and every one of them and I don't believe I was in a good place with myself. Even though I'm not 100% I'm starting to feel like I'm ready to meet people and see where it goes. Not rush anything nor completely give myself away.

But my issue is how do I trust again? How do I gain my confidence back? How do I not become insecure with other women, or with other small things that may make a woman over analyze? How or what did you do to help with these feelings of inferiority if you felt this way too?

Any insight would be helpful! Thanks!

variableknife 07/20/2016

You need time to heal. Allow yourself that.

candycin 07/20/2016

i agree with Variable you need to take this time to heal..the trauma you have had to endure being married to a sex addict that refused to recover is huge. It often causes PTSD so be gentle on yourself and take the time to yourself to heal from that trauma. In time you will learn to trust yourself and your higher power and that is more important and valuable then ever trusting a man. I can honestly say I will NEVER 100 percent trust my husband again...and i am okay with that and so is he. It is the new normal. I have accepted that. As far as self confidence that too will come, listen to your inner self...you have already overcome so much, being strong enough to leave an unhealthy marriage, letting go of that toxin is a huge step in rebuilding you. As far as feeling insecure with other women that is also trauma induced. When we discover that our husbands were acting out, we always tend to blame ourselves, if we had been more....done more...looked a certain way...after we discover that no matter what he would have still done that we see ever attractive women as a threat..it is a normal stage in healing...and with time you will stop seeing them as threats..i often tell myself they dont know that my husband was objectifying them, they are innocent to that. I still have that response when i am with my husband if an attractive, or half dressed women happens to walk by...its a constant battle but one i am confident i will beat. There are tons of really great books about dealing with and healing from trauma. Also attending a support group for spouses of sex addicts may be helpful ...it doesnt matter that your marriage to one is over..you will still have to to go through all the stages of healing the same. Relational betrayal is the worse trauma..it takes time...you will get better.

faithrebuilt22 07/26/2016

Variableknife and candycin, thank you for your comments. I appreciate it. And Candycin you hit every point head on, thank you! I guess a part of me feels envious because he, my ex, has jet been able to move on... As easy as one could imagine.

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