Porn is a hard addiction to overcome. When you get bored try just masturbating on your own instead of turning to porn. Keep praying that you are continued to be lead on a good, clean path in life. :-)

Support groups serve a few purposes, all good.

Obviously we all went through similar stuff and what worked for one of us might work for you. It's at least something to try.

But also, everyone with every addiction ever felt like they were "the only one" dealing with it. Feeling alone makes getting better seem almost impossible. Well you aren't alone, it isn't impossible, and if you don't give up on yourself it gets better.

(I'm an AA person, so if I spot your posts i WILL pep talk you half to death. Just wanted to warn you. :D )

Welcome, and you'll be ok.

It sounds like part of what you are experiencing is PTSD. Also, I know of some others that 'act out' after being molested and/or raped. There are aspects about it that are unresolved and need to be resolved or they can 'haunt' us.
There are multiple aspects to recovery, 1. to get at the root of the problem, 2. to stop the addictive behavior, 3. to find better things to do. Sometimes we need a counselor to get at the root of it, and the 12 Steps help with the practical aspects of changing our behaviors.

Welcome to the group

It sounds like you have a lot to work through. It takes a lot of courage to admit you have a problem (it took me years). This is a big step and I hope it gets you on the right path. My wife was abused as a child too and compulsively masturbated to deal with the trauma. My advice is to talk to a therapist. Maybe she/he will tell you that you don't need individual counseling and joining a support group is enough, but my wife needed more help in understanding and healing from her trauma than she could get in a group setting. There are some amazing people that are trained to help with issues like this.

Thank you all for your replies & support. To xbrokenan Im trying not to watch porn or masturbate at all because I hate the way I feel. It grosses me out after I get off. To Richard I don't mind if you talk to me because since I cant tell family or friends its nice to tell strangers who are in the same situation. Joining this group is refreshing but I don't want to get too ahead of myself. Again thank you all for the support :)

ladymac welcome to the group! Recovery from abuse is a long journey. It will come to you. I was molested at a young age too. It took me years to deal with it. Until about 5 or 6 years ago I began to talk about what happened. I see a therapist and work a 12 step program. Finding a higher power, God in my case, has helped me a great deal, more than any other thing I've ever tried. Know that masturbating is not healthy. You can heal from this. It will get better as you go. I wish you the very best in your recovery efforts.

Welcome to the group, Ladymac. I am in SAA, a 12-step program, and have been involved in this group a little over 2 months. I have been addicted to masturbation for 30 years, and internet porn for a long while. I am currently dealing with avoiding masturbation altogether. Like you, I am also a work in progress. I wish you the best of luck, and feel free to message me on here and we can support each other. This forum works well for that.

again thank you for your support. Ive never really been able to talk about this sort of thing so its nice to know I can tell my story & not feel judged or ashamed as much. Im sorry for things that happened to everyone especially abused as a child. I just hope we can all make a good recovery to be better people for ourselves & loved ones.

I tend to want to keep communications here in the group and not private. Private seems to get tangled up sometimes, no offense to anyone. A recent experience strengthened that resolve.

One thing I did learn while in recovery, is how to talk about se.x in a mature and responsible way. As a teen I would practically faint when a scene in a movie came up, or a tv commercial, or anything.. I had such mixed and powerful emotions. I learned a lot of technique with my ex, but that's not the same. It was in the SA 12 Step group, and the academic material that I read about se.xual development. It's possible to talk about it in general terms as a matter of fact, and not on very personal terms that trigger people.

Please know that I come from a relationship where porn/masturbation really crushed me for years. I caught the man I love thousands of times, it made me feel ashamed of myself like I could not keep him satisfied. His deep dark secrets made me feel like I didn't really know him. I shared all my struggles with him, so I felt so lied to. I think you are very responsible to seek help. Because of your drive to better yourself I believe there is a huge light of hope for you. You can overcome this. The one thing that can help is when the lustful sexual feelings come try to consider the shame involved at the end and then remind yourself that you do not want that grief and regardless of your self worth you have to learn to believe that you do not deserve to live that lie. You are not that darkness that overcomes you. Start believing in you and your responsibility to love this wonderful man. Imagine if he had a struggle, maybe something like a woman coming onto him at work... imagine the strength and faithfulness you expect and live that. In my opinion it is not fair to a mate to have hidden painful secrets. If you care about him then you have to stop or walk away from him until you get helped, otherwise your relationship becomes a big lie that will end lonely and sad, or you can try to talk to him of course. You can do it though. Do not give up.