Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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/ Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

First Post, Warning, Possible Triggers

Kashmier
Kashmier

This is my first post. I have never felt I had a sexual addiction until today when I watched a couple of videos of women in recovery for such. I deeply resonated with both of them. The shame, and secrecy.The negative self-image. The hopelessness and despair. It made me cry. 



I've long carried this addiction, since childhood. I am 60 now. 



I always thought addicted meant daily, or constantly. Which wasn't, and isn't me. Nevertheless, the emotional descent and mental deterioration, the self-destructive behavior, turning ever worse with every episode...THAT, is me.



I've tried so hard to overcome this on my own. I can go for weeks, with no miscreant sexual behavior. Then, bam! Just like that, it's all over, and I have to start again.



I know the abuses I endured as a child, created my sexual identity. But I am not okay with that. I want to be as my Savior, Jesus Christ, wants me to be. I want to be as He created me to be. Beautiful, inside and out.



I finally have months under my belt, of not abusing myself sexually. I am feeling far removed from it. But I think it's not that easy.



I'm divorced, yet I wish to marry a good man who loves The Lord, and loves me. I want to be a good wife, with healthy sexual desires for my spouse. I want to have a healthy sexual identity to share with him. In other words, I don't want to be as I am. It's twisted. 



I was gang raped and tortured, from infancy to the age of eight, by my father and his sick friends. With God's help, I have been able to forgive my father.



Nevertheless, I am left with what they created of me sexually. A Whore. They taught me that this was all I was worth.



Thankfully, I had a Mother who was GOOD and took me to Church. Which I sopped up like a sponge. All that light and love! Oh how I needed it! Between Jesus, and the love my Mother gave me, I know I am a child of God. THIS, is what I am fighting to keep. This is what I am striving for. 



So, it is time, time for me to join a group. A live, in-person group, for sex addicts. I deserve to heal this part of who I am. And so I shall.


 



  



Barry
Barry
I have had contact with dozens of mature ladies, many of them older than 60, who have told me that they often feel horny and have acted upon their feelings. We have exchanged messages on DS. In the city where I live, women are allowed in men's changing rooms and showers at the swimming pools; some have a sauna which have mixed nude sessions. I believe that there is nothing wrong in them expressing and acting on their feelings so long as no-one is being hurt.
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