My therapist recommended this site to me to help me find support for my issues. I was first exposed to porn/hentai when I was in middle school (currently in my mid 20's, dont remember exactly when) by one of my friends at the time and ever since I have been accumulating pornography images, videos, comics, etc on various devices. At first I though there was nothing wrong with it, that it was normal for a guy to look at porn. but its gotten to the point where I have gotten into the habit of going to the bathroom at my work to masturbate and started paying/supporting hentai artist for early access of their works. What I have done so far is deleted all the images I had accumulated on my tablet (and factory reset the device), my phone (as well as the apps that I used to read erotica fan fictions), and any other device I have and have begun looking into porn blockers to install on my devices.

This isnt the first time I have tried to quit. The last time was after I hit my lowest point when someone attempted to extort money from me claiming the person I had been chatting with on a adult dating app was their underage daughter and that they would contact the police saying I was try to solicit her if I didnt pay them a certain amount of money. I told my parent immediately about it and after they looked at everything they told me that since this app was intended for adults and since they had demanded money or else that this was mostlikely someone try to extort money from me but that I needed to stop this kind of behavior immediately. I have since deleted my dating apps but couldnt stop myself from going back to looking at porn or hentai.

I have anxiety and depression and this has probably been the biggest contributor to me considering suicide on several occasions. Just writing this and having to relive these events makes me hate myself even more than I had previously.