You're not alone Oliver. We're all in it with you. And there are lots of things you can do.

First things first: you'd definitely find support at a 12-step group, but if they aren't your thing, have you considered seeking out a therapist?

Same for me but for me it's rather my smart phone. I just can't imagine living without instant messaging. I mean all my friends use it. You should try to get in touch with people like sports etc. Loneliness and free time cause relapses

i guess it boils down to how bad do you want to stop? I know addicts that threw their computers in a lake, go back to using a flip phone,.when my husband attended inpatient treatment they tell them not to use internet, smart phones, or watch tv for the 90 days reboot and then when they do there are boundaries set.

I'm much like Ben. I'm on my phone at night constantly.
Due to severe sleep deprivation, I'm awake to.much. its not like there's someone to call or chat with at that time of night.

I have an old Nokia 1100 for the very same reason. To access the internet I have to go and get my tablet which gives me a bit of time to think.

As far as insomnia, an audio book on an MP3 player would be a better option. My husband is a chronic insomniac and he swears by them.

My particular help early on was the Bible audio because there was a limit to how much I would allow fantasies and the inevitable masturbation to take over with the Bible spoken in my ear.

This saved me from many a slip at night.

Can I ask what it is about the methodology of 12 steps you don't like? For me the demand for total honesty and the support of others who are in recovery just the same is a huge help.

Giving things over to a higher power makes sense to me as long as it is understood that it is a power of our own understanding. It does not matter what it is as long as it is outside of ourselves and is something to ask for help from. The act of asking is what does me good.

It must be something I give my will over to because my addiction is what controls my will and will continue to do so despite all my best efforts. I need something greater than that.

I have members of my group who are successfully in recovery who's higher power is pure universal love, the power of the group/programme, Buddhist principles or all different views of some kind of deity (male or female).

It does not need to stop anyone from accessing a 12 Step programme.

Hating the 12 step methodology.....
I'm not sure exactly what you mean. Is it the spiritual aspect that you hate?

For me, the spiritual aspect was what I hated too. I'm agnostic. Or I was. Sex addiction was DESTROYING my life.

12 step was the only thing that helped me. "The last house on the block" as they say. I don't hate 12 step now....it saved my life, probably literally - and I mean literally. I cannot see how changing the past could affect my future, but there's a great chance that had I not done 12 step, I could be dead now. Or in jail.

The other thing I can say about 12 step is that for me 12 step is NOT about going to meetings and sharing. 12 step is about experiencing step 1 and doing steps 2 through 12.