well let me start from the beginning, I met my now wife ten years ago while in school. we dated for a couple months and moved the relationship further after i was kicked out of my parents house and had to move into her parents house at age 17. so fast forward a couple of years. we get a small place together at 19 and i thought everything was going fine, untill i came home mid shift to get something i forgot and there was a guy on my couch watching a movie with my wife at 3am ( i worked night shift ) so i fliped out but where able to work things out....so i thought. a couple years later i found out that she cheated on me with a co-worker. i tell her that if she dosnt tell me everything that im gone, so she tells me that she has cheated on me with about 15 diff guys multiple times through the years. i was blown away so we split up for about 2-3 months and started talking again. i told her if were gonna work out we need help. so we started see a couples shrink and she saw her personal shrink. then about a year and a half later, she gets pregnant. she gives birth to my son aaron and we decide to get married. so again everything i thought everything was going fine for about 2 years then (this jan.)i find out she cheated on me with 3 diff guys multiple times again. it wasnt as hard of a blow because i kinda expected it. so i tell her she needs to go back to a shrink to get help if she wants to stay married. she keeps saying that their not picking up the phones / our insurance wont cover the ones she wants. so about 3 months later we are at dinner on our date night and i get a email on my Iphone. as i go to check it i notice a email i have never seen before. i ask her about it and she says she dosnt know who it is. i explain that i wasnt a retard and the only person other then myself that uses the phone is her and then she admits its her email she made at work using a assumed name. i go home to find out she has been talking to a HUNDRED people, doing cybersex/ phonesex / meeting. she swears up and down that she never had sex with any of them just chatting but then i found out she has been keeping in contact with the guys from before. so this is where im at now. feeling broken, alone, disgraced, inadequate, you name it. i have thought about hurting myself. hurting her, going on a rampage, hunting these so called men that helped ruin everything ive tried to build.(i know its mis-placed anger) ive never had such extreme emotions before and the only reason i think i havent left / done something stupid is my son, i swear to myself everyday that im going to give him something i never had..... a good father. but everyday is a battle with myself over if i want to continue living with her. im seeing a shink now that has a long history with couples and addicts. its too soon if it gonna help at all. i love her so much but i know it well happen again and what happens next time well i flip out and be a story on the evening news? i dont want to leave because i grew up in a broken home and dont want my son knowing what thats like. the funny thing is its not even the fact that she has been with other men i understand humans are not monogamous beings. but the lies dig in my heart like daggers twisting the flesh from the bone. any advice is welcome. thank u for letting me vent.