Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
Hi Everyone,
I am needing help to know how to handle my father in law. He's a sex addict and has been for years. He's also very manipulative and has a horrible temper when it comes to being caught (even accidently) or confronted (on anything). I personally don't have much of a problem with his sexual advances because I've made it clear to him it's unacceptable (it helps that my husband supports me on it), but many other females around do...including my close friend. In late April, my mother in law found a hidden camera in the women's restroom (single room) at the family business. My mother in law, myself, and a female secretary (the intended target) were the only ones found on any of the tapes. I personally don't believe my 5 year old who is there for lunch almost daily wasn't on the tapes and erased immediately (he has no problems with children porn or anything of the like), but there is no proof of her on the tapes. My husband and mother in law turned it over to the authorities in hopes that he would finally be required to get some help. He has had problems for years, but had never crossed the legal line (had multiple affairs/inappropriate relationships and severe online porn addiction). It looks like he will be required by the courts to go to mandated counseling among other things. There is a no contact order between him and my mother in law (and divorce pending) as well as between me and him. This is court ordered and not initiated by myself or my mother in law. The court order will time out when the court proceeding is completed...most likely by the end of the year.
So this is what I need to know...what do you recommend I do so I protect my children but don't alienate my husband's father? What steps does anyone recommend I ask him to do before he is allowed to have a relationship with my children again (keep in mind he was an active part of my children's life before April of this year)? Thanks in advance.
I am needing help to know how to handle my father in law. He's a sex addict and has been for years. He's also very manipulative and has a horrible temper when it comes to being caught (even accidently) or confronted (on anything). I personally don't have much of a problem with his sexual advances because I've made it clear to him it's unacceptable (it helps that my husband supports me on it), but many other females around do...including my close friend. In late April, my mother in law found a hidden camera in the women's restroom (single room) at the family business. My mother in law, myself, and a female secretary (the intended target) were the only ones found on any of the tapes. I personally don't believe my 5 year old who is there for lunch almost daily wasn't on the tapes and erased immediately (he has no problems with children porn or anything of the like), but there is no proof of her on the tapes. My husband and mother in law turned it over to the authorities in hopes that he would finally be required to get some help. He has had problems for years, but had never crossed the legal line (had multiple affairs/inappropriate relationships and severe online porn addiction). It looks like he will be required by the courts to go to mandated counseling among other things. There is a no contact order between him and my mother in law (and divorce pending) as well as between me and him. This is court ordered and not initiated by myself or my mother in law. The court order will time out when the court proceeding is completed...most likely by the end of the year.
So this is what I need to know...what do you recommend I do so I protect my children but don't alienate my husband's father? What steps does anyone recommend I ask him to do before he is allowed to have a relationship with my children again (keep in mind he was an active part of my children's life before April of this year)? Thanks in advance.
For me, that would mean that every time he was with the children he was supervised by either yourself or your husband (supervised visitation). Under no circumstance should he ever be alone with the children. That means the kids can't be spending the night or weekend at Grandpa's house.
If counseling is ordered by the courts, I would want some type of arrangement set up between you and your husband, the courts, and the therapist where both you and the courts would be notified if he deviated from the court order in any way (like if he missed an appointment, or didn't do some kind of assignment the therapist gave him to do). I'd also want to be able to talk with the therapist whenever I wanted to so that I cold check on his progress in counseling. Of course, he would have to agree to this and give his permission for the counselor to talk with you. But if he wants to see the kids, those would be the rules.
Off the top of my head, those are the only ideas I can think of right now. If something else comes to me, I'll go ahead and do another posting. I hope something here is of some help to you.