I'm really worried I might put my girlfriend in that position too :-(

You need to make firm boundaries and stick to them. Once you discovered that your boyfriend is a sex addict that is the first thing you need to do.Falling off the wagon suggests that he was never in recovery but white knuckling sobriety. Let's be honest you can't trust him and why should you? He betrayed your relationship and broke that trust. Boundaries need to be established or you will be in the same post on weeks or months from now. Does he go to therapy? 12 step?

Is he in any kind of recovery program? If not, then there is nothing you can do to control his behavior. You do have to create boundaries with him. What those boundaries are is up to you. Without recovery there is no hope for a normal relationship. So keep that in mind.

Tom,

If you are worried, are you taking the necessary steps to prevent it such as seeking recovery? If not, why?

Wolf

Several Observations here:

1. Try blocking the number, so that messages/calls cannot be placed or received.

2. He needs to examine his feelings that led up to him being triggered to act out. He didn't just wake up one day and decide that he was lusting and needed to act out; there were emotions that led up to that point before he got there. Anger, Anxiety, Depression, Stress. Whatever it was, those are the underlying emotions that need to be talked about and dealt with.

3. He should be open and honest about his addiction to the people he is acting out with, in my opinion. If he is honest with them about his addiction, then they will understand that this type of behavior is not what he wants to do.

4. An active prayer/meditation life. If there is no daily prayer/meditation, odds of his success in sobriety greatly diminish.

Also Remember, none of this is your fault because of anything about you. It's all entirely him that's the problem.

Thank you everyone for the advice.. I really appreciate that!!! My boyfriend does to a SAA group. He was going to a counselor but needs to find a different one. I talked with him about getting blocks on his phone. I do feel that I am having a hard time trusting him. Until I see that he is wanting to improve, I do not know how to trust.

Dani- I am in the same spot as you. I do not know how to trust, but that is not our job. It is HIS job to win back your trust. He must prove his loyality and honesty before your trust slowly builds again. He must want to become a better person. You cannot do that for him, the exact same thing goes to my partner.

It is also his job to put blocks on his phone/computer. It is his job to think of ideas to prevent from being tempted down the road of destruction. He should be taking those steps, for himself and for YOU.

I was the same way as you. Researching for HIM on what he could do to beat this addiction. Throwing him ideas, and in a lot of cases doing things for him eg, putting blocks on the laptop.

If he truley wants to stop, give it up for good, then he would be doing those things. Not you.

There is one bit of advice I can give to you for your own sanity and it has helped me a lot.

Download a keylogger onto his phone without his knowing. A keylogger records his keyboard strokes, what websites he goes on, what videos he watches, his passwords, his secret emails that you may not know about and keeps it in a secret log, in a folder only YOU know about or it sends it to your email address.

Please make sure the keylogger is well hidden, so he cannot stumble across it. Rename it to something he would not think twice about. Like some kind of computer word or something. I used log.dat.

Reason being, he'd delete your keylogger or tamper with it unless you get one with a password protection on it, but then again...he knows he is being watched.

That way, you wont slowly go insane and go blaming him for something you're not 100% sure about or have good evidence to prove to him. That way, you have some form of peace of mind.

Please do not feel that you're not good enough. Of course you're. You're an ordinary, natural looking girl and these women would give anything to have that and not have any reason to go and sell their souls for nothing.

Not to forget, some of these women are professionals. Of course they're gonna look and act that way. It's their job and they get good money out of it. I think we all would look like super models if we had so much money and time on our hands dont you?

As for the other women that are not professionals, again that is their issues to do such things. Not you.

My partner was also doing similar things like yours on his phone. He got rid of it and got those old time nokia phones. Ones where its just a bog started mobile, so you can only make calls and text people. No images or videos, nothing.

Has he gotten rid of his techy phone yet? Or does he still have it??