There are a few friends I have decided to reach out to and talk about what I have been up to in the past. Before, when I am (we are) in addictive behaviour we tend to get on with whatever it is without talking about it because of the shame. But once we stop acting out then we can begin to talk about it with people. That really helps get out of the moment. I guess I'm lucky being gay that there are many guys who have experience with what it's like to get caught up in casual sex and Grindr. Even my partner says he sometimes has trouble focusing. So many people I choose to talk to can imagine. It's helpful to talk to some straight friends as well though because the lunacy of what I've been up to (not the immorality) comes to the fore... you have to explain what it's like to be on this app all day, to try and meet people for lunchtime sex, to be in the open relationship all of which for me brings the reality to the fore.
Anyway, so I've spoken to about five friends and my partner (really I have several good friends even tho I don't feel I do and even tho I keep them out of my life because I don't share.) So I am really lucky. I'm sure the main thing is to hook up with these non-sexual friends - reveal more of myself and stay in touch.
I do feel better. Interestingly, I am thinking more about listening to music and reading again where these things tend to slip into boringsville. They can't compete with the stimulus of addiction.
On the downside, I'm still a bit distracted and I had a row in the supermarket.