Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
The withdrawal from using apps and having random sex a few days a week is sneaky, I'm finding. Basically I am projecting more, I think. I am aware that there is a lot of judgement and fear in me, and whereas before I was able to judge people to feel better about myself, now the judgement is projected into others. Another day another crowd of people I know and yet more paranoia. Luckily (!) i genuinely had an upset stomach so could leave early-ish. I find no comfort with groups of people ... which is why I used to drink. But I had gotten over that. With sexual sobriety it has come back. Generally quite up and down and feeling sad and upset just now. I've gone back on my meds, which I had successfully stopped. Part of me wants to "sweat it out," but there is no reason to subject myself to this social anxiety. There is a reason Drs prescribe with little compunction. I will be able to get better when back on the meds and then my work can be coming off them again as and when... If anyone has any opinion about this (perfectionism? purism?) then I'd like to hear it. Maybe it is not the case that sadness and fear is a "thing" that is lodged in the mind and can't be accessed when we are on anti-ds. Actually writing it makes this hypothesis sound a little silly.
Still, my withdrawals aren't so bad compared with the hell other people seem to go through (and my problem wasn't as bad, I had a luckier childhood) and, look, it's day 18 and I never really thought I would a) take the plunge and b) succeed.
Still, my withdrawals aren't so bad compared with the hell other people seem to go through (and my problem wasn't as bad, I had a luckier childhood) and, look, it's day 18 and I never really thought I would a) take the plunge and b) succeed.
If I understand you correctly, you are saying that you are experiencing a higher level of social anxiety on account of disengaging from the hookup apps and the hookups themselves. And you identify this higher level of anxiety as a withdrawal symptom that can be medicated through anti-depressants. Am I right so far? Where I got confused was what you meant by projecting into others and also what you meant by purity and perfectionism. And I guess I got a little lost too about accessing fear and sadness. Is is that you fear antidepressants will numb you from feeling important emotions in the process of quieting the anxiety in your mind? I am not at all familiar with anti-depressants but two thoughts come to mind assuming I understand your post. The first is that you have 18 days of app free living! Wow - how great is that. And my second thought is that if a higher level of social anxiety in group situations is coming up now, could you try something like a yoga or a meditation class? It's social in that there are lots of people in a room together. But you really don't have to interact with anyone or say anything. It's good for your body. And maybe it would also help quiet your mind? Just a thought if course. I might be over simplifying everything.
I feared that if I didn't "process" (feel) the sadness then it would stay there. I've done meditation - and I do it although I usually go to sleep.
Anyhow, I have gone back on them now and feel better already. I can easily come off them again once I feel more secure about stuff... the great thing is I already went this path with alcohol.
And day 21 - yes still off. I really can't quite believe it! :-)