Good job stay strong bro

hi there dear. I wanna share you some information. first thing you need to know is that there is a cycle. First comes the trigger then action, followed by Guilt, then shame, then anxiety/depression and then comes back to the trigger again,

As you can see the first step in the cycle is trigger. So as much as possible stay away from triggers. Divert your attention if you see one. Be aware.

There is nothing wrong with masturbation, it is normal. I am a psychiatric nurse and even mentally retarded patients do it. It is a physiologic need. So I think what you need to establish from this point on and forward is having healthy relationships most especially with your wife.

If you love and trust each other maybe you can confess it to her. Sometimes we need help. Don't hesitate to ask for help dear. Hope this helps you ;)

I would disagree that masturbation is a physiologic need. It may be okay for some, just as drinking wine is okay for some.

Speaking only for myself, I know that masturbation is not okay for two reasons. One, I know by history that masturbation starts me on the path of behavior that I cannot control. The other reason is that, as someone completely powerless over sex addiction, if I masturbate, that means I am relying on masturbation for relief from the daily stress of life. I myself need to rely on my higher power - if I rely on masturbation, it will eventually not be enough for me.

It would actually depend on personal perspectives at the end of the day. Psychology tells us that sex is a physiologic needs which I totally agree. Masturbation is another form of sexual activity but it is more on a personal level. The problem is when you've become dependent and addicted to it. Like I can drink wine once in a while but not to a point where I will drink wine everyday and become dependent to it.


It's funny that you use the word "rely" because that's not what the real motivation is. Masturbation is sort of a way of having fun. What we really need to rely on is our relationship with ourselves and the people around us. We should ask ourselves is it normal? is it healthy?

Either way, I completely understand and respect your opinion.

I agree that for sex/porn addicts masturbation is not a good idea as it can be the thing that leads back to relapse. Some addicts will say i am still going to masturbate without porn but instead they use images, or recall of porn that they have stored in their brain. There really is no difference and it will stall the reboot and send you right back to where you were. The reboot of 90 days depends on no masturbation ...therapist suggest it,,, as it kick starts your recovery. Will someone die with without masturbating? Of course not....people in a relationship in recovery need to learn healthy sexual outlets include their partner always!!!! Now that doesnt mean if you are single you can never masturbate. Doug Weiss has tips for recovery addicts about being single.(again after the 90 day reboot)

Great job on 12,days. When you feel like looking at porn or masturbating try to identify your feelings and then cope in other healthier ways. That's why I try and do. I'm a month clean.

For me, the only thing that I can rely on in order to recover is my higher power, and it has taken me to go through some very low lows to be able to accept a higher power. I was agnostic and had to see for myself that no human power was ever successful at helping me recover despite a sincere desire on my part.

As far as masturbation goes, I have found that by abstaining from masturbation that it is not NEARLY as difficult as I thought it would be. It has helped me see how warped our culture is about sexuality - that we need sex with whatever frequency we have established. For example, some people think there is something wrong with their partner/relationship if they are not having sex x,y or z amounts of times per week/month.

I am not saying that a healthy sexual relationship with someone in which sex is frequent and satisfying isn't a wonderful thing. I am saying that I have learned that the relationship is more important than the sex and that the relationship has to come first.

I can live very happily without having an ejaculation. It does not "back up" or cause any problems. They body and physiology have a way of dealing with it if necessary through nocturnal emission.