My H who just started his recovery process read that book. When he first got it and was skimming through it he also was in shock that people who are rapist and child molesters have similiar problems, but worse or higher stages. He read the book and he said he thought the first 100 pages did not apply to him at all, but continued reading it anyway and really related to the latter part of the book. I dont know ur situation, but if H is in therapy it is prob. better if the suggestion to read the book comes from the therapist if possible or he can ask his therapist about it. If not just tell him that others have read this book and although not everything in the book may apply to him, it is a very helpful book and he will find many things in it that he can relate to and that can help him better understand the nature of his problems. It nevers hurts to try :)

In my case, I recognized myself within the first two or three pages. As I continued to read the book, I don't really remember paying any attention at all to any of the examples Dr. Carnes used. I concentrated more on what the good doctor had to say, on the pathology he was describing. That's what hit home with me. As I think about it now, I don't know that I've ever really paid a bit of attention to any of the behavioral examples any recovery writer has included in his or her book. I can think of plenty of examples of the behaviors they are describing in my own life. I really don't need their examples, thank you!

Ah yes i remember when i got my first book, for my h. It was Treating Pornography Addiction By Dr Kevin B Skinner.
I read it and thought it wouldn't apply mostly to my h either, so i highlighted the bits that i thought that did. I thought i was only dealing with a porn issue, certainly not a sexual issue. I was thinking maybe a level 3?? He read it and told me he thought he was a level 6 or 7. I freaked!!! I really wasn't aware of what i was dealing with at all.

Let him read it, if he's willing, and it can at least open up some communication between you about the issue. Best of luck

Part of the reason Carnes' book is such a blockbuster is because it was one of the very first books ever written addressing the subject of sexual addiction. Having a book that provides the basic facts of a widespread yet unmentioned problem is made it very popular, albeit the fact that it may go into more detail than is relate-able. However, because sex addiction is SO secretive, many addicts may relate to more of it than their wives realize.

However, while Carnes is known as a trailblazer in this field (and rightfully so), there are many other books that address sex addiction - or more commonly, porn addiction - which might be more palatable to someone who hasn't gone extreme. My husband is an extremely intelligent man and always has critiques for books. Haha. But he says the two best books he's personally read on the subject are: False Intimacy (Harry Schaumburg) and Healing the Wounds of Sexual Addiction (Mark Laaser).

Great question, and good job thinking ahead. Hope he finds something to relate to.

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