YES! I too have failed over and over again to come clean, instead getting caught with porn by my wife. It's incredibly difficult to proactively admit my failings - it's so easy to tell myself that it's OK to keep quiet. To listen to the lie that it would hurt her more to bring it up out of the blue, and instead I can just get past it on my own and she doesn't have to know. It's a lie, but I've kept falling for it.

Get help - and remember that no matter what happens with the relationship you are in now, this is not the person you want to be. Improve yourself and let the healing in your relationships with others follow.

Commit Social Media suicide (just delete all of your accounts). Delete the apps from your phone. Sit down and talk to your girlfriend, and admit to having a problem. For me, when it came to social media, I liked checking out women on Instagram and such, it was like Porn(lite) to me. But social media is more personal than porn is, even if it's not hardcore like real porn. My wife is more hurt because of me on social media interacting with women than she is about me watching hardcore porn. But to me, it's all the same (spank material). It was never about me cheating (in my own head), it was about satisfying my lust just to get off. But it hurt my wife just the same.

I have always been against social media because it ruins relationships, removes personal privacy, and enables people to live fantasies and removes them from the real world. Honestly, I think we should outlaw social media, it is the single greatest threat to our society. [In my opinion]

I did delete my social media completely and we’ve had this problem before so that’s why she feels so betrayed because this is now the third time I’ve done this to her. It’s never been about cheating for me either it’s just this urge to flirt with girls I’m never going to talk to and by doing that I’m betraying my girls trust. I feel sick to my stomach because I don’t want to keep relapsing but I don’t know what more I can do.

When you are home, do you carry your phone around? If so, stop with that behavior. Try not to use your phone at home, I understand that you may need it for communication when you are at work or wherever, but give your girl your phone's unlock password and leave it on the charger in the kitchen. This has been working really well for me. It shows a lot of trust to just give your significant other free access to your phone. My wife is at least giving me a chance. If you have a laptop, leave that out in the open at home too. I truly think that social media, in a way, is a gateway to hardcore porn, but is also far more destructive in relationships. You will probably not know what to do with yourself by giving up constant phone watching, but you will find other things in the real world to fill that whole. No matter what it feels like to you chatting up randoms on social media (kinda like a game, or just entertainment with no intention of even meeting them), its hurts the person you are with. Your private digital life has to go, and you need to live in the here and now. This is what my journey is, and I plucked myself out of my digital fantasy. Now, I'm on the computer for work, finance, and help. That's it.

I believe that that is my only option is to spend the least amount of time on my phone as possible. Thank you for your guidance, I appreciate it

Great choice man. I encourage you to get some professional counseling too. Maybe not forever, but at least for a little while. And try and get some advice from the therapist/counselor about explaining how this addiction works to your girl. How to enlist her to help you get over this. That should also help her see that this behavior isn't necessarily a reflection on your feelings for her.

I know that’s the only way I can keep her but I have no idea of where to start to look for a therapist