http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/spousespartners-of-sex-addicts

You will find many at that site who have remained married, and in ways, have a far better marriage than they do before they discovered the sex addiction. However, there are always some costs to the marriage when these behaviors have been present.

I am still married to my H of over thirty years. He presented with symptoms that suggest the term sexual addiction. I am not one to "tolerate" that kind of behavior. And, I believe that anyone who does, is in for even more shocking behavior. I don't think that it is "ever" a valid, sensible, healthy, or productive choice to tolerate the behavior, though many do that.

My H entered treatment with a local psychologist in order to get the real picture of his behaviors, the causes, and the ultimate affects. At that point, once he knew where it began, how it progressed, and where it's likely to go, he could make a valid decision to change his behaviors. He "got" where it started, how and why it escalated, where it was leading, and what to expect if he continued. He chose to cease the behaviors.

I tried "recovery" with my SA husband for almost two years. There was "progress," and things seemed to get "better." However, the lying never stopped. Never. Probably not even for one day. He was always keeping things from me, and lying by omission as well as straight-up make-believe.

The final straw was him lying about getting STD tested. He admitted (after 2+ years of denials) that he had cheated on me with four times the number of women I thought he had, plus had over 50 unprotected sexual partners (one night stands) from the internet over the course of a few decades. He claimed he was waiting for the results in the mail, all the while never having gone to get tested at all. That lie couldn't last very long, and didn't. I kicked him out the very same day I caught him in that lie (and "caught" is the right word, because he continued to deny the truth right up until I presented him with proof and headed off every single lie and fake excuse he came up with).

I was tested the very next day. The first set of tests came back clear, but I had to be tested again for some things during my pap smear. I just discovered last week that he gave me an STD. So in addition to the years of my life I wasted, the lies and pain I endured, I also now have a permanent reminder of him and his cheating, sorry, no good ass.

I will never trust a known liar, and I will never, ever, ever get involved with a sex addict. Of course, you can't always tell ahead of time, but at the slightest sign I will be gone. There is no helping some people because they are just THAT fucked up.

there are some in here that I've read

http://yourbrainonporn.com/discussion-board

though I don't remember exactly where they are in there

I know a few members of this group that are doing very well, and their marriages are doing very well. They don't come here often now. One does participate on another group that is constructive.

I'm doing okay as far as most things, though some other things in my life are very difficult right now. I'm trying to cope with them in healthier ways.

ohhh I just realized that you are aiming this at only certain members of the group that are not addicts? or are addicts in recovery married to addicts in recovery?

umm does anybody have a link to that group that is for family and friends of addicts?

You may not find many success stories in this group, not because there aren't any, but because this group is for the addicts themselves, so not many spouses here, but there is a group for family and friends that is active and you might better ask there, as would get more answers and be more helpful.

If you look at the upper right corner of this page, it says 'groups', click on that and there will be a list of groups related to sex addiction, and a few of them are for spouses and wives, including this one:

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/spouse-of-sexaholics

There are also alanon groups locally, which started out to be families of alcoholics but now cover also ACoA.

The purpose of a support group for families and friends of addicts is a little different than a support group for addicts. Since the families and friends consider themselves to be 'healthy' and not in need of the same kind of recovery, though they actually do need recovery, often from codependent relationships with the addict.

We will have to get you those materials meant for the recovery of familes of addicts, which have a different focus than recovery of the addict. The two are separate things.