Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
So. 30 days until I leave for another business trip. I am humbled to claim that it's been almost a year since I've had sex w strangers. I've had a year before. But I get restless. Arrogant. Snobby. I think I'm better than you. I think I've got this. I don't need you. Or your help. So I'm praying for a sober trip. I had a roommate until two days ago. Now I'm not held accountable to anyone I trust who's currently going. Sigh. It's a vunerable place to be. In my own head. With a dangerous attitude. complacent. 30 days is a long time to be anxious. Please send me a hug. This can be extremely isolating.
We'd been through this before, you know? The best way to address this is to do the opposite of what you are doing at the moment. You have thirty days you say?
Then use those 30 days to fill your mind and heart with positive affirmations, fill your mind with positive quotes, every time you fell weak remind yourself how strong you really are.
You are not vulnerable, you are think you are but you are not, it is not that you are better, arrogant, etc, but that you are strong, fully capable of going through life without the addiction, you have what it takes, etc.
As I have said before, if you are still living under addiction's thumb, you are not sober yet, you are still in recovery. If you were truly sober, you'd not be anxious whatsoever because you'd already know two important facts: addiction does not exist for you anymore and most important you are stronger than any urge.
Lastly, while it is true that it is ideal to have someone you can discuss these issues with, sometimes that's not feasible, so again we need to make contingency plans. Many times during my addiction phase, my accountability partner was unavailable so I decided to hold MYself accountable and I would have a long talk with myself, reminding myself that I was perfectly able to overcome whatever idiotic urge I was having at the moment.
Speaking of which, do not live day by day, in moments such ad those, one second at a time makes a huge difference. Figure out what that restlessness is all about, once you find the root cause of the issue, you be sure to take out the problem.
Make a plan of action, write it out, carry empowering phrases with you that you can take out to read out whenever you are tempted which brings me to... DO NOT talk to stranger you find attractive, sounds simple and almost childish but it's vital that you avoid them in the state you are in.
Lastly a question: While it is true that you've not behaved in addictive ways for two years, why are you still having addictive type thoughts? What is it that you need to do here to stop that crazy train from running your life once and for all?
I'm here if you need me but I'd like you to start thinking about being truly independent when it comes to the addiction, it will make a huge difference in your life. What I mean is, truly being able to addressing the addictive tendencies on your own because only by doing so, you can see how strong you really are, does that make sense?
How else do you think I was able to not only heal from it but also been able to remain sober for two and some years?
Kodiak bear hugs,
Wolf