Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
I'm not sure where I fit into things, but I suspect my behaviour has been a kind of sex addiction, and I was sorely tempted recently to go back to it. I act out by working as a prostitute. I don't get 'high'' from orgasm, because I don't get turned on physically. I get 'high' from being busy, and feeling so wanted.
It started when I got sober at the age of 23, and found I wanted to be a street worker. I had NO IDEA where this desire came from, I was just a normal and shy young woman. I have a history of very early childhood sex abuse and sadistic abuse.
anyway, I fought this desire, but went to work in a brothel, when I was drinking again and 27.
Since then, I'm now 53, I've sex worked almost 20 years. mostly sober. It's been a complusion and a desire, but it's also been complicated by a need for money and not being able to hold down a job.
22 months ago, i was able to leave the brothel behind, I had financial assistance to do so. i was delighted. Since then, i've had to work through lots of sense of damage, shame, sense of degradation and so forth. Then, just last week, I suddenly wanted to go prostituting again! I have a good part time job, and no longer need the money. .But the desire was so strong, and despite my age, there was an opportunity presented to me. In the state I was in , it seems like clean, innocent fun. It's a real delusion, and I suspect a dissociative thing. anyway, I feel much more sane now, and was able not to act out. But it was so hard!
It started when I got sober at the age of 23, and found I wanted to be a street worker. I had NO IDEA where this desire came from, I was just a normal and shy young woman. I have a history of very early childhood sex abuse and sadistic abuse.
anyway, I fought this desire, but went to work in a brothel, when I was drinking again and 27.
Since then, I'm now 53, I've sex worked almost 20 years. mostly sober. It's been a complusion and a desire, but it's also been complicated by a need for money and not being able to hold down a job.
22 months ago, i was able to leave the brothel behind, I had financial assistance to do so. i was delighted. Since then, i've had to work through lots of sense of damage, shame, sense of degradation and so forth. Then, just last week, I suddenly wanted to go prostituting again! I have a good part time job, and no longer need the money. .But the desire was so strong, and despite my age, there was an opportunity presented to me. In the state I was in , it seems like clean, innocent fun. It's a real delusion, and I suspect a dissociative thing. anyway, I feel much more sane now, and was able not to act out. But it was so hard!
Sex Help
www.sexhelp.com//
Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health
www.sash.net/
On the Home Page of either site, right at the top of the page, you will see the question, "Am I A Sex Addict?" If you will click on that question, the test will come up for you. The test can be taken right there online, and then be submitted for scoring. In just a few seconds, you'll have your answer. A score of 11 or higher usually indicates that a sexual addiction is present.
If the test says that you are, in fact, sexually addicted and you'd like to learn a bit about the recovery options that are available to you, come on back to this site and let us know what the test had to say and we will be able to provide you with a number of recovery related resources to help you get started on a recovery program for yourself.
And if you'd be interested, we can also provide you with some resources that will help you deal with the childhood sexual abuse issues you talked about. So let us know if there's anything we can do to help you. Good luck!
It's very common for women who work in the sex industry to never become physically aroused while they are working. For some, this lack of arousal spills over into their personal life and causes them problems with their sexual partner. The dissociative thing is also very common. As a matter of fact, there is at least one (1) very successful therapist, Dr. Mark Schwartz, who works with recovering sex addicts who treats this disease as a type of dissociative disorder, which makes it somewhat similar to what they now call Dissociative Identity Disorder, but it's better know by its former name, Multiple Personality Disorder. How about that!
Anyway, if you're interested, there are lots of books available on sexual addiction, as well as hospital based in-patient treatment programs that treat this disorder. Also, there are Twelve Step programs which are similar to A.A. which deal ONLY with sexual addiction. And just so you don't think you're alone in your situation, the current research says that about 6% of the U.S. population is sexually addicted. That works out to 21,000,000 people, half of whom are women. So you've got a lot of company, and if you go to the Twelve Step meetings, you'll see a lot of other women there.
Interestingly, a lot of women who work or used to work in the sex industry don't see themselves as being sexually addicted, but they certainly feel that they are addicted to the lifestyle that their sexual activity provides for them. That's what one particular Twelve Step group, Sex Workers Anonymous, deals with. And one of the most famous porn stars in recent memory, Penny Flame (real name -- Jennie Ketcham) was part of the T.V. show, "Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew). She's been on a number of other T.V. shows since her rehab days, talking about her life and how crazy it was.
Anyway, there's lots of help available out there if you're interested. Perhaps a good place for you to start your research into the various resources that are out there would be with the two (2) websites I gave you where you could find the Sexual Addiction Screening Test. Those websites were Sex Help, and the Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health. If you'd like some more ideas or suggestions, please let me know. I'll be happy to help in any way I can. Take care, and I hope to hear back from you soon.
Charlie
P.S. -- I also have a number of resources I'd be happy to share with you that are related to the childhood sexual abuse you went through.
Thanks for the websites you gave me. Here in Sydney, we have 'sex love addicts anonymous.' I did their meetings in the 90's. I just found that as a rule, sex addicts were men, and love addicts were women. I didn't know where I fit in.
anyway, I'll check their meetings out again.
I believe it's always been a dissociative thing. Prostitution used to lift me right out of the pain and disturbance from the childhood abuse, and would feel like an altered state. I'm not out of the woods yet, it was so tempting last week.
Thanks again, charlie.