Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group
Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.
Those of you who know me know that my Significant Other recently joined the United States Army. It has been over a month since she left, and the change left me in a shambles.
The first couple of weeks that she was gone, my friends tried to get me to go out to the local strip clubs every Friday night with them, just to get me out of the house and try and cheer me up.
Well, originally I refused to go because I did not know how my partner would feel about it. Granted that, for my 21st birthday, she took me to the club herself, and bought me all of my dances.
I spoke to her when we finally got contact about what had been happening, and she actually got MAD at me because I had not gone out with the guys. She told me that...it's not like I'm taking these women home. I am still her g/f in the end, and because I'm paying for them to wiggle in front of me for 30 seconds, that she does not consider it cheating. She told me that she would rather have me go out and have fun.
But I have been going EVERY Friday since she told me that...even when I am near broke, I find a way to go ( most of the times my friends will pay my way in). One of the strippers is actually my friend, and frankly, I just go to chat with her the whole time---but I'm starting to wonder if this whole "Friday Ritual" thing is turning into an addiction.
I'm a writer...and my stripper friend has been my muse as of late. I have written over 30 pages of a short-story I plan on getting published, but even that is over a Strip-Club Addiction. I blame the fact that I go so often on my need to write. It's not often that inspiration hits me, so when it finally shows up, I do whatever it takes to hold onto that muse and that idea...you know?
So...does anyone have advice?
The first couple of weeks that she was gone, my friends tried to get me to go out to the local strip clubs every Friday night with them, just to get me out of the house and try and cheer me up.
Well, originally I refused to go because I did not know how my partner would feel about it. Granted that, for my 21st birthday, she took me to the club herself, and bought me all of my dances.
I spoke to her when we finally got contact about what had been happening, and she actually got MAD at me because I had not gone out with the guys. She told me that...it's not like I'm taking these women home. I am still her g/f in the end, and because I'm paying for them to wiggle in front of me for 30 seconds, that she does not consider it cheating. She told me that she would rather have me go out and have fun.
But I have been going EVERY Friday since she told me that...even when I am near broke, I find a way to go ( most of the times my friends will pay my way in). One of the strippers is actually my friend, and frankly, I just go to chat with her the whole time---but I'm starting to wonder if this whole "Friday Ritual" thing is turning into an addiction.
I'm a writer...and my stripper friend has been my muse as of late. I have written over 30 pages of a short-story I plan on getting published, but even that is over a Strip-Club Addiction. I blame the fact that I go so often on my need to write. It's not often that inspiration hits me, so when it finally shows up, I do whatever it takes to hold onto that muse and that idea...you know?
So...does anyone have advice?
Even if youre not in an addictive state it sounds like you find your behavior disturbing, so ask yourself do you want to stop going to the club on a Friday? If so can you stop going to the club? If you wish to stop but cant then you more than likely have an issue that you may wish to seek council before it gets out of hand.
So it's about 50/50 really...
I like going because my friend works as a dancer there. We had the same home-town, and she is just someone that I vent to when I am feeling down about whatever.
And I also like going because my newest novel idea is based around the strip club. I go there to pick up the atmosphere and let it inspire me to write more...it's my muse, and it makes me feel happy when I can just sit down and hours and type because of my experience.
I will take the quiz though.
When we use blame to engage in behaviors we know are not in our benefit, we are, in fact, using that excuse to engage in those behaviors.
Truth of the matter, deep down, I'm certain you know that you do not need to go there to write, even if that were the premise of your book, specially if it's a short story.
I'm a writer also but if I needed to write about, say, bank robbers, I would most definitely not hang out with bank robbers, would I? No, I would research on it by going to the library and go from there.
You could also meet your friend elsewhere, it does not have to be in a place where you'd be tempted to spend money you do not have. I realize that your friend needs help but again, by being the DD, you are, in fact, enabling your friend, as well as putting yourself in a position where you'd be tempted.
I am with borntorun in the suggestion that you could use some guidance from a therapist to deal with your feelings of loneliness and abandonment. The reason why I am saying it is that if you truly loved and accepted yourself 100%, you'd not need to have 30 seconds of someone else or something else to make you feel better.
The premise is this, if you need something other than water, food or air, in the exact same way you need those I just mentioned, something is, indeed out of balance.
As an aside, your gf may not call it cheating but I disagree, paying them to wiggle at you, does not exempt it, the fact is that you are in a relationship and you are looking at someone else wiggle their money maker at you.
I am not saying this to make you feel guilty, I am saying it for you to examine why do you need to have this in your life at the moment, when you are in a relationship, specially when your S.O. has left to join Armed Forces, which is no small matter. If is not as she went to a spa which would mean, she'll be back sooner rather than later.
Just a thought,
Wolf