Wow, what a large terrifying step. I respect your bravery and will be keeping my finders crossed for you and your wife, your marriage and your family. May all go well for you and may healing and light fill your life. No matter what, keep your head up and never forget to give yourself credit when it is due. Best of luck to you.

Good for you newcan. This is a huge step, and will be very healing. I wish you and your wife the best of luck as you work together through this painful but redeeming process. Stay strong.

So I am so terrified now. I have dug this 6foot deep grave with all my lies and deceit. I have truly been honest with myself and her today. It it hasn’t gone well at all. She doesn’t believe that I have truly come clean which I have finally. I have told her countless times I was clean and in doing this I have made it virtually impossible for her to believe me. She is extremely intuitive and this has helped her with knowing I was previously withholding secrets. So with that she has said if she feels unsure at all tomorrow my life as I know it is over. So this scares the hell out of me because I am finally as god as my witness clean and there is no longer anything hidden. So if she feels at all that I am still withholding we are done. I have no way of reassuring her because of my constant deceit. I’ve prayed and with Gods help hope and pray he talks to her tonight and helps her realize I’m true. But I have to somehow accept that the way I have drawn out my full disclosure it could be to late. It could be to much for her to handle. I don’t want to live my life without her! I want both of us to heal together. I fell in love with her the day we met. Weve been together for 20years. And my second life my addicted life and the lies may have ended this. Please pray for us. Please pray for her. She needs the love. God help us.

You have my prayers, Newcan. I am sorry this all crashing down right now. It might be hard for a while, as she has to process all of this into something she can deal with. It's very important what you did and when you can come out of this together, your family and marriage will be stronger for it. I wish I could say that everything will be okay, but I don't think I should. Just know that there are people sending you both hope and a call for guidence, forgiveness, and love. Be patient and stay strong.

Thank you so much pottsy. I’ve always struggled with self esteem self confidence I guess self love really. So having others give me positive support truly helps. Thank you so much. I hope all is well with you.

With coming clean comes regret sometimes. Where there have been broken promises before you have to understand her fear and trepidation. The only thing you can do is continue to prove you are over your addiction. Let her see the new you. Most importantly, if things change for the worse, don't fall in to old habits. Let her see you continue to be strong. Let her openly check your normal stashes what it be your phone or computer. You owe to both her and yourself to show everyone you can beat this. Don't give up. You aren't alone