Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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domingo0022 06/14/2018

Yesterday was a bad day. I went to work today and had a good day, and I went to run an errand for my wife. To my surprise, on my way home she wanted to talk to me. I knew it was something important so I had to be sure. Sure enough, it was important. She found out I was messaging another woman. Now, this person I met not too long ago, didn't have any real significance, although it hurt my wife's feelings.

The reason I bring this up is that I'm married and I shouldn't make relationships with other women. I have these habits from my social media webpage and youtube videos that I make that I come across as friendly or inviting and willing to help. I am those things, but I made the mistake of connecting with someone that I had the choice to not go any further. We had a long talk about this and I felt so bad, but at the same time, it made me realize that I have a good life, good marriage and a lot to be thankful for.

I shouldn't have to sabotage it or create problems where there isn't any need for it.

Men, if you are married and reading this message, keep your relationships with people of the opposite sex strictly professional. Having a "work wife" to ask you how your day is and all personal details is a bad idea. You have someone at home to ask these questions to.

I learned my lesson the hard way and I don't plan on cultivating more relationships with women, simply because, there is no need to do that if you're married. I'm married and I need to keep this in mind and work on this behavior. I did this before I met my wife, but I didn't record it enough and write my thoughts about it enough, because I saw it as no big deal. In truth, it is a big deal, because I was building something that didn't need to be built in the first place.

In conclusion, I am safe to say that the relationship with that person didn't go very far and I have since stopped chatting with the person upon discovery by my wife. She does love me and she is here to support me and I have to work on these behaviors.

If you found this helpful or would like to give me advice on how to fix these behaviors, I am welcome to suggestions.

Thank you for reading!

-Domingo

candycin 06/15/2018

This is something my husband had to do in his recovery too for a few reasons. He works mostly with men so the few women he has in the past come into contact with he would be more friendly at work with these women than a professional level. Talking about personal things (not sexual) but once he started recovery and had a few months of sobriety he seen what he was doing. He was in a way grooming these women, to get attention. Sex addicts want attention from those that could potentially fill a sexual "need" even if that means it would never happen in reality it would happen in the depths of his fantasy world. He did this with my friends as well. When discovery of his addiction came to light i also seen (for a short time) ever women as a threat, so months after when we attended a work function and a female co worker came up and started talking to us and was asking me questions about our life that she obviously already knew the answers too it made me instantly triggered. Now my husband keeps any interactions with women strictly professional and if he attends a meeting etc he does a few things. He tries to seat himself across from a women never beside her, if he attends say a luncheon and a women is attending he always waits to seat himself until after she has chose a seat so he sits away from her, to avoid personal conversation. He ALWAYS sends me a message and lets me know after that there was a women attending. THis helps keep him honest and me feeling safe ...say in a week a conversation was to come up about that luncheon and he says something about a women being there and i didnt know it , it would for sure cause triggers. Recovery is all about full transparency.

domingo0022 06/16/2018

Definitely. Thanks for this post and I'll keep that in mind. I am also willing to keep my relationships with other women strictly professional as well. My wife would do the same for me in regards to other men

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