Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Sexual addiction, also sometimes called sexual compulsion, is a form of psychological addiction to sexual intercourse and other sexual behavior.

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/ Sex / Pornography Addiction Support Group

Addiction Affecting My Marriage

dummyhayn
dummyhayn

I’ve been struggling with Porn Addiction since I was young. And without properly addressing it, it’s now finally caught up to me and have affected my relationships as an adult.



First it was just going on websites to watch what in needed to watch to “get off”. I have bad habits where I save photos of women on my phone from social media channels like Instagram. I’m even guilty of taking photos of women with my phone without them knowing. There’s no excuse for it.



I tried to hide things from my wife for a number of years because I didn’t think it was a big problem. She did blink an eye at certain things she would find (photos on my phone etc) but after so many “second chances” she’s given up and lost all trust in everything I do. Our marriage is a mess because of the decisions I made and having this addiction control me.



We started doing family therapy that has seemed to help at first but has now reopen some older wounds and has made things feel worse because it’s all out in the open again. It’s boiling down to my addiction and how it’s affecting us. My wife went on my phone and found on my Instagram, a group chat that I had with a couple of my buddies where we would post pictures of women. It seemed harmless but it’s been very damaging with my relationship with my wife. I kept betraying that trust.



Our therapist told me to write down an action plan on what I’m going to do on my end. So this beginning of my journey has lead me to this website.



I’m trying to rebuild my wife’s trust and hopefully put this addiction behind me. There’s too much at stake for what I can potentially lose. I’m joining this support group to find some strength in getting through this time. I’ve never don’t anything like this but I want to defeat this habit and take things more seriously. Thank you for hearing me ramble.



If anyone has any suggestions on what I can do to better myself or put into my action plan, I’m all ears. I jotted down some things to get started but I would love to hear your opinion from what any of you experienced.

Scaredandafraid
Scaredandafraid
Honestly, get rid of your social media. I did that and it did wonders. I to almost lost my marriage and family because of this. Also laying your wife be a part of your accountability will aid you if you are serious about wanting to get away from it. My wife installed soaring safe on her phoneand sent me a link to install it on mine. This gives her control on what you can and cannot access on the web. It says no connection when you try to access porn sites. Just a few tips that helped me. I wish you well and hope you are able to get over this to save your marriage
dummyhayn
dummyhayn
Wow, that’s an amazing suggestion with that Soaring Safe App. I’ve never heard of that before. I’m going to look into it more.

I didn’t get rid of my social media but I did delete the apps from my phone. It’s been a three days and I’m realizing that it’s helped a ton. I catch myself getting into the habit of picking up my phone and my fingers, from muscle memory, would go straight to the Instagram app, but with it missing, my brain catches myself because it’s not readily available. So far so good, but I know it’s a long journey ahead.

Thanks for sharing, I truly appreciate it!
Restful
Restful
Strive for progress. not perfection. There will be times when you slip, but you can right back on track with abstaining. Make sure your wife has open access to your phone and put things in place to rebuild her trust. Don’t text your buddies sexually explicit pics or messages anymore. Activate some kind of porn blocking program on your phone. There are also Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings almost everywhere. Show her that she’s more important than a fantasy.
Scaredandafraid
Scaredandafraid
I got rid of social media i installed a bunch of games lol. That eases my phone use habit but let's me abstain from the porn
dummyhayn
dummyhayn
I think I’m going to join a SAA meeting somewhere in my area. My therapist also told me to let. my friends know too so they can be onboard. It’s gonna be tricky because we’ve Been doing this for so long but I’m sure they’ll respect my wishes.

My wife is mainly worried that I don’t respect our marriage. I jotted down a list of what is at stake if I can’t defeat this habit and reading it out loud has helped tremendously at giving me strength to beat it. Also being on this forum with everyone’s comments and suggestions have helped a lot too.
QUIT
QUIT
Strive for progress not perfection is so true! I have learned on here quickly that there will be slip ups. Its how you manage moving forward that matters. Exercise can be a great way to help pass urges I have found.
To-Be-Clean
To-Be-Clean
One thing that helps me with not looking at pornography is I do not have a smart phone. With the Internet in your face all the time temptations and pornography are just a few taps away in private. If your phone is causing you to stumble get rid of it in my opinion. What is more important? A smart phone or your marriage?
catch_the_music
catch_the_music
The biggest help I have found is to view women and marriage in a spiritual light. Think of all the great reasons why God gave us a woman to be our wife - other than just physical beauty (love us, encourage us, need for us...). My wife and I like to attend "Weekend to Remember" marriage seminars. The seminars help me view my wife and marriage in the best light possible. A Pastor can help you also. Prayers for a great turnaround success story for your marriage.
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