Jo,

I think the best way to find an accountability partner is to go to 12 steps group near you. The reason that I am saying this, is that it is so much better to see the person that is your accountability partner, rather than to just talk over the phone.

Have you ever been to a 12 step group? People are very friendly and welcoming there, and would offer their phones to you so you can call them at any time.

Here is a good link to find a group near you. http://www.sexhelp.com/addiction_support.cfm

Joe,

I agree with free that accountability is more abiding in a rusted face to face relationship, and 12 step s-groups are a good place to go for those relationships. But anything you need to be safe will do in the interim.

When I started recovery I had a group of men that talked every day just to answer the questions below. This build a hedge that allowed us all time to establish real accountability relationships. And it was Invaluable. Now I have 4 men that know all my secrets. And consistantly watch me for my Addictive traits.

We are anonymous at this point, but if you message me directly, I will commit to asking you these or similar questions every day this week. To help you build up a little hedge. I need to refocus my recovery
and this would help me too.

The questions come from every mans battle

1 have you been in a situation with a woman that could be SEEN as compromising?
2 have your actions or thoughts lacked integrety?
3 have you expose yourself to explicit material, or been inadvertantly slimed?
4 have you been in the word and prayed each day?
5 have you participated in corporate worship
6 have you made your family a priority?
7 have you just lied to me?

Anyway, let le know.

1. @Choose: You are 100% right. It is great list of questions and phone calls are a great tool. Like you said anything helps, and 12 steps group could(or not) be a next step.

2. @Joe: I am 27 year old porn addict, with some sexual acting out history in the past. I am straight in a long term relationship. If you feel that my recovery is something that you can relate too, I would love to be your accountability partner. Pleas IM me if you are interested and we can exchange information.

Choose & Feed,

Thank you both for taking the time to respond
To my knowledge the closest "group" is approx 45 min to an hour away. I beleive there is a meeting at 7 PM on Thurs. I drive for "Big Brown" so in general Im working to where that is not possible. My hope is to someday start something locally, but untill then I am working on me the best ways I can find. I live in a very small and very conservitive town in the south. I am 52 years old and have experienced life from a lot of different asspects and being military (1975-1979) I have traveled around the world and have met people from everywhere. I know addictions cut across a ll aspects of life. Nobody is excluded. I have been married to the same girl for 29 years. She is aware of my addiction only to the degree that it was ALL put on the table 12 years ago...As far as shes concerned I was fixed and that was a thing of the past......We go to Mass every Sunday... I belong to a mens Cursillo group (bible study) which I go to every Sat morning. Even there the subject of my addiction has been breached discussed and been "dealt with"......... I have read "Out of the Shadows'" by Dr Carnes.. I am presently studying Marks gospel, am on Day 18 of the "Love Dare" (Looking to be one of the most helpful life changing books I have ever read. I am also reading " Crazy Love" by Francis Chan and "Romancing your Wife" by Debra White
Smith. Around the house I cook, do laundry, clean, pay bills and do the grocery shopping,,,Once a week I go to my wifes first grade class and read to 1st graders..With all that I still have had a promlem w porn over the years. The difference now is I have decided that it was a problem and It is time to quit...God is Good.........All the time.. Its time to count my blessings and not hat I dont have..From the time I was a teen I smoked cigars, cigerettes, chewed tobacco, and dipped snuff. Six years ago I decided it was a stubid habit and I quit.... I have read the blue book (AA) and on some level I am working through the steps.....I have a deep respect for people especially those that a recovering......I am rambling on and its time to go to work........As soon as I figure oout how to IM you I will... To answer the 7 questions for today No No No Yes Yes Yes NO Clean for 7 days with the help of God and You 2 Thx

Thank you so much for this. I want to encourage you in several ways. First please tell us more about the love dare it was too big for me when I first picked it up, but it would be cool to have some encouragement from someone who really did it.

My primary thing is not porn, but myself and several other men have had a great deal of Success with he accountability reports from covenanteyes.com. It scores web sites, and sends reports to your accountability partner each day week or month. Even without the filtering part, it is real easy to avoid porn when you know you are going to have to answer to several guys who will see it.

I encourage you to sign up, and invite a band of brothers into your battle. If you send me a private message we can exchange emails and phone numbers and I will commit to watching your reports for the month of September and call you about every questionable site I see on your report.

I also encourage you to start an sa meeting with one other guy in your area. My bud and I met for 4 months before anyone else came and neither of us knew squat, but God came to every meeting!

Hope this helps