E: Sounds like you need to address why you would go to Craigslist to begin with. I mean, I go there sometimes, looking at bargain furniture and the like...but I know why I'm going there. Do you/

Whoa, you gotta watch the Craigslist personals stuff there man. I mean I have bought and sold plenty of stuff on there as well as gotten a few jobs but thats it..... Craigslist can be bad, yeah there are some nice people there im sure but also some bad ones. Lots of prostitutes and the like. If your looking to meet someone try an actual dating site.

Frankly, I don't know what I was doing on Craigslist. I originally looked up dating sites and Craigslist came up... I didn't go there originally knowing I wouldn't find what I'm looking for in a healthy relationship, but I eventually came around to it. There are actually some good ads in there of people not looking for sex and the like, however, there was too much sleaze to stay away.

I know how I got there so now I know what to do to NOT get there again.

I appreciate your words of wisdom

epratt,

It looks like craigslist should be put on the no no list from now on. By your own admission, you were there looking for the majority of the evening.

Was not there even a, "what the frigg am I diong here?" light bulb going on for you. Was there no alarm? You say the longer you were there, the longer your curiosity grew. This raises alarm bells for me, it should have been the complete opposite, actually. Why are you in Finder, by the way? The main goal of recovery is to cut ties with the computer world and start joining the real world, is it not?

So where do you go from here? A bit radical but I can see by your post that your addictive mind is alive and well by the looks of it.

So, since that appears to be the case start looking for holes in your recovery plan and plug them accordingly. Adjust your recovery plan as necessary.

The fact that you also feel awful about yourself which is a result of addictive behavior (you may not have not done anything but your mind only knows it led you to further than you expected and that's enough to induce tons of guilt) tells me your addictive mind is still running the show.

When I was on month 6 of my recovery, my father died which created all sorts of triggers for me, it was not easy to keep the urges at bay, I came close to indulging, I turned on the PC and as I was waiting I simply said, "What the ffff am I doing?" and turned it off again. That told me who was at the wheel, not my addictive mind. True, it turned it on but I woke up just in the nick of time.

Why? Because I had practiced the art of self awareness, so I could be present for all I was feeling and doing and not let temptation take me somewhere I did not want to be. It takes practice but it saves a lot of heartache.

So dust yourself off, plug the cracks in your plan and go on, but be aware and be in the present. You'll see the difference in the long run.

Wolf (4 1/2 years sober)

In addition to the words of wisdom above, I wonder if there isn't a bit of loneliness in your life, and if this might not be a way in which you are trying to connect with others. If so, consider what activities you might become involved in where you could be engaged with people face-to-face -- maybe volunteering your time, discussing books, learning a new skill or learning about your faith, whatever that might be. Don't be a hermit.

E: It's great that you "see!" Look at your progress! Lonely isn't cured by disconnected sex. I know you know that. So, don't waste time on those kinds of ads. Go out to places where there are real people.