Hi there, thanks for reaching out. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help. Alcoholics Anonymous was the first 12 step programs, which was created to help alcohol addicts abstain from drinking. Since then, many 12 step programs have come about to help people deal with other issues. They all use the 12-step model, slightly modified for the specific issue. The main ones which deal with sex addiction (which includes porn and masturbation, etc) are Sex Addicts Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous, You can google them and find their respective websites for your region, or you can message me and I can help you find the site.

I can understand that shame and fear. I struggled with many sexually addictive behaviors, such as masturbation, pornography, and unhealthy sex. I work a 12-step program and it has greatly enhanced my life. I hope you find the help that you need.

-Dan

Hey Dan, thanks for your reply. I did a Google search and found them but they seem to require face to face group meetings and I don't feel ready to handle that yet. However, if there is an online option I'm open to it.

I think there are various forums, such as this one. I once found an online chat meeting, but I don't remember what it was called. They do exist. Some of the 12-step programs I listed above have phone meetings. You can call in to a centralized number that connects you to the rest of the group. You are automatically muted and can just listen in to what the other people talk about without them even knowing you are there. If you feel up to it, you have the option to un-mute yourself and share.

Thanks for the suggestions. I will try and search for such forums, maybe Google it when I get a chance. Thank you

Some of these groups have phone in meetings. That may be helpful ...rest assured though every single sex/porn addict that attends a face to face meeting felt exactly the way you are feeling...The first meeting will be hard but you will gain support, a sponsor, and recovery from attending. Often you can email the group and they will get a member to meet you before the meeting to help you enter the meeting with someone else not alone.

I know this will sound silly but I don't want my family to know. Like ever. Any I still live with my mum, so somehow or other she would get to know I've been going out. And I just don't like to lie. So I'd have to tell her where I was going if she asked and I just don't think I can deal with that. The idea of a sponsor and support group sounds nice but I just don't think I can. I don't suppose they have a virtual sponsor? Plus is it even available in my country, those groups? Although that is a moot point because I don't think I can go. It's too much to even consider. But thanks Candycin

I'm sorry, I know you're all just trying to help and you all seem so nice and it seems like I'm just shooting down all your ideas. But I just can't do group meetings right now, that's all.

NeedUrHelp - if you want to remain anonymous, and as others have commented here, all of the major 12-step groups have teleconference and videoconference meeting options. You can find a list of all of the major 12-step groups, and links to their home pages (all of which list phone and video meeting times and attendance information) at www.pornhelp.org.

Also, to echo others, NoFap.com and similar online forums allow you to connect with a support community anonymously.

There are also a number of self-help products (self-study programs, books, etc.) that you can use to help with tackling your porn use. They're also listed on our web site. While we don't recommend using self-help materials all by themselves, they can be a big help when paired with 12-step work/online forums.

Good luck and let us know if we can be of more help.

It doesnt sound silly at all...its a hard thing to deal with. There is tons of help out there and in the end you need to find the one that helps you in your recovery journey.

@pornhelpdotorg, thanks for the link. I'll look it up later. Am trying to beat a crazy work deadline...

@candycin, I will. Thanks.

There are many 12-Step programs out there but for me, I needed a program that centered around Christ. That is why I selected, or should I say, the Lord selected Celebrate Recovery for me. I'm nearing 2-years sobriety and can say with 100% certainty, Celebrate Recovery not only healed my heart, saved my marriage and my family but also saved my soul. There are Celebrate Recovery ministries throughout the US. I pray that you find one as it is a place of ZERO judgement. In fact, we acknowledge that we are all perfectly imperfect sinners saved by grace. Anonymity and confidentiality are table stakes. Your secret will remain in those rooms but I pray that your secret no longer remains a secret because (to use an often used cliche)....we're only as sick as our secrets.

You can use this link to find a CR near you....

http://www.celebraterecovery.com/index.php/cr-groups