My parents were both very abusive. My father showed me his penis, in the bathroom, at age five. I remember him standing by the toilet with his penis hanging out of his pants, and he said something like -this is what a penis looks like. My father denies having done this, and all other wanton acts of child abuse. Sometime around the age that I learned how to walk, that was the age that my father began beating me rampantly. I remember one time my sister did something, I forget what, so I chased her and hit her back with my hand. My father, in return, picked me up and hit me 5-10 times very quickly. This wasn't the first violent act he commit against me or my sisters. I still believe that he had not held back and of his strength, when he hit me it was as hard as his arms could afford. My father, hitherto, has denied every instance of child abuse, and he continues to be sort of a cult affiliated liar. When I was about age eleven or twelve I began looking at pornography on my father's computer. I continued looking at pornography off and on since I was age twenty. I have since then gone at times six months or more without viewing any pornography. I believe that I became addicted to pornography because I thought that it made me more of an adult. I had other addictions, of sorts, like cursing at my parents, who were not very kind people to begin with.
Recently I've begun to think that pornography can destroy lives, and maybe it had already destroyed my own. My father watches movies that have pornographic scenes in our living room, which isn't very uncommon.
In the past years I've had some medical traumas, which my family very incessantly contributed to, which I believe had been intentional. I'm trying to become more peaceful and turn my life around.

Thank you for listening to my story, and I thank you for your compassion and support.

PS Maybe forgiveness can be a powerful tool in healing.