Sex Offenders Wife Community Group

A place where wives, ex-wives, and girlfriends of sex offenders can share with each other.

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Need support

Hrt98
Hrt98

Hi everyone Im new to this. I am 23 years old and my boyfriend is 22 we have been together for 2 years and are engaged. We live in california. I knew about theses charges for our whole relationship but we have been hopeful they would see the truth and we would get to live our life but he had the worst public defender and got forced to take a plea deal for something he didnt even do . He is now sentenced to 2 years in prsion and a level two registery . He just was incarcerated on monday this whole week has been awful my anxiety is through the roof i cant stop crying i miss him so badly and he is struggling himself in there we only get to talk once a day for two hours and they dont have visitation until he gets transferred to prison . we were living with my parents before he left but i will have to move out and get a place for us before he gets out so he has a residence to come to . But how do i go about making sure they allow someone on the list ? are we allowed to have kids ? when we get married his neices cant come ? I am so stressed and overwhelmed i just hope someone can realate or help me through this time thank you if you read this whole thing . 

SammyleDerp
SammyleDerp
Hey there, I get it. I'm 28, but I live in NY and I'm sure the laws are different here. Hell, they're different in each county, as we've unfortunately come to find out after we moved. The law can not stop you from having children. However, again, in the county I live in, they will not allow my level 1 sex offender husband live with any children we have while he's on probation. I am thankful that I am experiencing infertility and that we were never able to conceive while we lived in our former county, which WOULD have been fine with him living with any potential kids.

In terms of having a niece come over...again, here in my county, my husband has been told that he needs to alert the parent of the child that he is a sex offender for him to be able to engage in any family activities of children are present. As you can imagine, that's been difficult since we moved a year ago.
Devastatedwife
Devastatedwife
Have you heard of S-ANON. this is a support group for partners/family members of Sex Addicts and there are certain focus groups that are specific to those sex addicts that have been involved in criminal behaviour (i.e. child pornography, voyeurism etc). I have found these groups incredibly helpful and they are on zoom so you can attend from anywhere, there are meetings all over the world and at various times of the day. I belong to two groups - Wednesday evening (7pm EST) and Saturday morning (10:00 EST) these groups focus on sexual offences and it is a great support system for spouses/partners/parents/family etc that have affected by another persons sexual behaviours. I think they have saved my life. I'm putting the contact information for the world service organization here if anyone is interested.
Peri P. | S-Anon World Service Office
800.210.8141 | sanon@sanon.org
www.sanon.org | member.sanon.org
candyapplered
candyapplered
Your story sounds like mine. Dec 2020 I got that same knock saying my husband had been looking at CP. We had been married a year at that point. We are now on 3 years and we start court stuff in about a month.

I chose to stay despite my mother and her side of family saying I was crazy and that I should leave. The last 2 years have been difficult. Husband isn't welcome on that side. My dad's side is more welcoming but of course they are worried, as well. His family is welcoming.

Thursday we met with the public defender and he said that there was little to no chance that he wouldn't be put on the registry. And we have a little chance of him not serving time.

We are thinking of having children but I would like for this court thing to be settled by then and have the consequences laid out before then. This is a long and lonely road for all of us.