Sex Offenders Wife Community Group

A place where wives, ex-wives, and girlfriends of sex offenders can share with each other.

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myvalentine 12/30/2020

I will be married to my husband 20 years on Valentine's Day in 2021. We have four children together. Our eldest daughter confided in me serious sexual abuse by my husband and we began CPS and police proceedings. I want to protect her, I need to protect her the entire family needs healing and therapy. But it feels like the world around us wants to crucify my husband. I miss my husband, is that an odd thing to say? I don't want to crucify him the circumstances are so bizarre, I think he has some kind of sleep disorder called sex-sominia. My family is shattered. He has been in jail, on suicide watch for almost 3 weeks. Hearings next week where daughter has to testify - she's not sure she wants to - does she even have a choice. I'm not sure what to do, just torn to shreds in my heart. The other children are not victims thank the Lord, outside of now being fatherless and stigmatized. Any non judgmental thoughts are welcome.

p_rodddd 01/01/2021

I’m so sorry to hear this. It’s terrible to feel so alone all the while having to pick up the pieces for your daughter. It’s not terrible to miss him. He’s your husband! Your person!! But at the same time he did something wrong so I understand why you feel the way you do because I feel guilty for still love my husband as much as I do despite his charges. I totally feel your pain. You’re not alone.

myvalentine 01/02/2021

Thank you for responding. It's so hard to talk about. I am back and forth from one minute of the day to the next... love him, hate him, love him, hate him... protect my daughter, protect him, the justice system is forcing me to choose, I can't protect my "family" or what's left of it, I must choose him or her. I have to choose my daughter...

Jadeite 01/06/2021

I agree... it is normal to still love and miss your husband. He is still a human being, and he still loves you, too. If it had been a cancer diagnosis instead of discovery of a psychological illness that needs treatment, you would have still loved him then too, of course. Love can heal, hate only destroys.

My sadness over events lke this is that jail and prison will not provide SO's with the help they need. Mandatory treatment is the better alternative, imo. I send you comfort, and healing thoughts. Please keep us updated.

myvalentine 01/06/2021

I've spoken to 9 attorneys... to get advice over the situation, and all 9 of them have said I have to divorce him to keep CPS at bay. There is the criminal case, and the CPS case... I am angry at him for doing this to our family, for putting us through this, but I still love him and hope for restoration one day. I've had several attorneys say I can always remarry him sometime down the line... once the kids are grown (17, 15, 11, 10) which idk, maybe that makes sense, who knows - I'm up and down throughout the day, angry, sad, strong - praying all the time for wisdom and guidance from the Lord and that he'd surround me with wise counsel here on earth, I feel so much like the authorities are out to destroy my family no matter how sugary-syrupy they tell me they want to help me and my daughter.

Mommyto5 02/26/2021

Prayers

JJL 03/10/2021

I'm in similar situation. My husband was never charged. Not sure how? It's been two years. I would have never imagined. I felt the devil somehow made him do it in an instant. But years of thearpy has led me to believe that he had problems whether mental, or with me that weren't addressed. I've never heard of sex sleep insomnia. I'm sorry you are going through this but protect your children and get help for you and support him the best you can.

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