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Absolutely Lost

onlyhope
onlyhope

Two weeks ago tomorrow the police came banging on my door with a search warrant because our IP address and my husband's name and email was tied to CP.  They took all our electronics, and let us go.  Six days later they arrested my husband for possession of CP.  He is home now, and living with my parents.  Because of this child protective services (CPS) opened a case against him for alleged sexual abuse and me for neglectful supervision.  We have four children between us, and we are raising two little ones that aren't ours.  CPS required my husband to leave in order for the little ones to stay since they are not biologically our children and we do not have legal custody (we got them because of CPS cases with their parents so that's a whole mess).  There were no "outcries" from our home so CPS has no legal ground to do anything with my biological children.  


So that brings me to this place... I love my husband, and I want to walk this out well.  If he indeed did this the evidence will show that, but it isn't going to change how I feel about him.  I deeply and adamantly detest these HORRIBLE actions by anyone.  And I'm heartbroken thinking my husband could be suffering from any sickness making this seem okay to him.  My entire life has been turned upside down.  My children's world has been rocked.  People are finding out, and that is humiliating.  My husband is in unpaid suspension with his job, and we need both incomes to live our current life.  And I feel like I'm being persecuted right along with him.  Everything as I know it is wrong right now, and I feel so alone. 


I realize the world is going to want me to take a strong stance against him in this, and for his alleged actions I ABSOLUTELY DO!  But if he did this and is willing to do the work to get well and to the root of the problem, I feel like I'm supposed to stay (until Jesus tells me differently).  Has anyone stayed? What was that like?  From this point to after prison time or whatever... I'm just curious what I could expect. 


I'm just lost... so lost.  And heartbroken.

broken1003
broken1003
This forum isn’t very active but Cps is why I would not stay. Im really sorry for you and your kids . Remember this is a situation he brought on regardless of why. You can do more than you think. I am also sorry people are jerks to those who did nothing wrong and are left to pick up the pieces.
onlyhope
onlyhope
Thank you so much for your reply. I agree that I have no choice but to choose the kids every single time that it comes down to it. I did get good news that CPS is working to close my part of the case since they have nothing to show I’ve done anything wrong! Praise Jesus! Of course they’ll continue to be in my life because of the babies we have and the case they have with their parents. I’m just hoping this will put a rest to them looking at me like I did something wrong.

This really is such a crazy lonely place to be. I so appreciate you replying.
broken1003
broken1003
Yes ma’m it is. Message me anytime i know its scary.
candyapplered
candyapplered
Your story sounds like mine. Dec 2020 I got that same knock saying my husband had been looking at CP. We had been married a year at that point. We are now on 3 years and we start court stuff in about a month.

I chose to stay despite my mother and her side of family saying I was crazy and that I should leave. The last 2 years have been difficult. Husband isn't welcome on that side. My dad's side is more welcoming but of course they are worried, as well. His family is welcoming.

I have supportive and not so supportive friends. But, I need someone who is going through it too. Who is staying too. I live in the US and in one of the cruelest states for SOs but I would love for you to reach out and be my person that we talk to about our struggles and what our healing looks like. Let me know if you would be interested.
candyapplered
candyapplered
Your story sounds like mine. Dec 2020 I got that same knock saying my husband had been looking at CP. We had been married a year at that point. We are now on 3 years and we start court stuff in about a month.

I chose to stay despite my mother and her side of family saying I was crazy and that I should leave. The last 2 years have been difficult. Husband isn't welcome on that side. My dad's side is more welcoming but of course they are worried, as well. His family is welcoming.

I have supportive and not so supportive friends. But, I need someone who is going through it too. Who is staying too. I live in the US and in one of the cruelest states for SOs but I would love for you to reach out and be my person that we talk to about our struggles and what our healing looks like. Let me know if you would be interested.

I also have worked for CPS in the past.