Sex Offender in My Life Community Group

This is a NONJUDGEMENTAL group for people who have a registered sex offender in their life. Whether you support this person, are angry, hurt, scared or have accepted the situation, we are here for you. This group is for the day to day trials and tribulations of living with a RSO in their family or having one as a friend. FORGIVENESS DOES NOT MEAN FORGETTING!

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/ Sex Offender in My Life Support Group

Girlfriend of a sex offender, I'm so lost!

GFSeekingSupport
GFSeekingSupport

I'm new here. So releived to find a community for support. So I'm just going to share my story and see if anyone else can relate or has any input and/or experience they can offer. We live in California. I met a guy last year. He is, today, the man I know now, the most wonderful man I've ever met. I dont judge him by his past. He was 100% open and honest with me before we progressed in our relationship, before we crossed any lines into romantic. We began dating and he told his PO about us, I even met his PO. Fast forward to last week. He was notifed by his PO that he now has to cut off the romatic relationship because I have a minor child. I have an adult dauther (22) and a son that is 16. Needless to say we are both devastated. He was in a romantic relationship with the mother of his children and the offense happened during their relationship. He was informed that he was able to have the relationship with her becasue they had biological children together. He has now decided to petition the terms of his probation in terms of dating. He mentioned a class I may be able to take. I/we are willing to do whatever it takes to be together. This last week has been torture. He takes lie detector tests regularly as well. So when I say things have changed they have changed. No more romatic conversations or pet names, just small talk. We've definately scaled back to the friend zone. I was also hopeing with my sons age they may be more inclinded to change terms. Or even us dating but him not interacting with my son, us only going to his home and not mine. We are both prepared to also wait the year and a half we need to until my son turns 18 to be together, this would be so hard! Does anyone have any experience with this type of situation? Even some words of encouragement at this point would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

broken1003
broken1003
I know in my husband’s order. It said no contact with other children other than his own. And thats only because it was internet related.
GFSeekingSupport
GFSeekingSupport
Thank you for your response. I guess we're praying/hoping for a miracle.
Stormie44
Stormie44
Be encouraged! I know initially the drastic change in your romantic relationship makes the world feel like it’s ending, but it’s not. Take a moment to just breathe and tell yourself that it’s going to be okay. Any change, especially drastic, will always cause one to feel a dreadful panicked emotion as well as extreme anxiety. But the key is to take a moment to collect your thoughts and emotions and take a step back to asses the situation logically instead of emotionally. I speak from lots of experience in this area. I know right it sucks, but look at it this way, yes your romantic relationship has stopped, but you both still care for each other in that way and you both are will to be patient and wait for each other, and at least you both can still be friends. Those are all great things to focus on. Being friends helps to keep your relationship relevant and active still and I know one year and a half may seem like eternity, but it really isn’t. Focus on being friends and looking forward to being able to be together in a year and a half :) If the court only said you both had to end your relationship because of your minor son, then you know in a years time you both can be together again. That’s a great goal to have and look forward to. Anyway, I hope this helps you to feel a little better. :)