My fiancé is a level three registered sex offender in NYS. He was 19, she claimed she was 17. When she realized nothing would come of the evening but sex, she reported it as a rape. Oh, and surprise! She was 13 and partying at a bar. 

His life was ruined. For the next 15 years, he was in and out of jail for auto theft and larceny. When you're the scourge of society, very few will hire you and even fewer will allow you to live on their property. His parents were gone. He was young and on his own, shacking up with whatever woman would have him and not ask many questions. That led to a couple of baby mamas and subsequent child support he had no means to pay. Back to jail. Drugs to kill the despair. When he decided all hope was lost, he failed to register and ran from parole. Back to jail.

I met him online 18 months ago. He lived in another county, but after chatting for two months, he had my attention. He was outgoing and exciting. A tough guy. Very different from my first husband, who I'd left after 20 years of marriage when his alcoholism led to infidelity and abuse. We went for tacos. He was fun and interesting. Had a take charge attitude and didn't give a hell what anyone else thought. I was onboard. Several dates in, I asked myself, do you really want to have a long distance relationship with this guy? He's hours away. He lives in a crappy apartment with roommates. He's broke. Yes, yes you do. We became lovers. We spent as much time together as possible. Every weekend, longer when we could.

Two months in, he told me he was in love with me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I told him he was crazy; he couldn't possibly know that. I was full of shit; I was in love with him and felt like I had been forever. But he had to tell me something and would I please hear him out, because it was gonna be bad and he needed me to listen. My heart dropped. He began. I screamed at him. We cried. Sex offender. Felon. Career criminal. Parole. 

I told him it was over. He was a criminal and a liar. He agreed, yes, he was and asked me if I'd have gone out with him if he'd told me up front. Of course not. Would I have seen him again if he'd told me on our first date? Obviously not. Then he asked me if I could see things from his point of view. I could. And then he called his parole officer and asked him to confirm everything he'd told me about his criminal history. He did. And when I hung up the phone and I stopped crying, I was still in love with him. 

We tried to be normal. He was 37 and just wanted a happy life. I met his daughters and what little family he had. He met my Son, my very small family, and he got my drunk ex in line very quickly. We told no one what we were hiding. He asked me to marry him. I said yes.

We kept up the long distance nonsense for a full year. For the first time, he was going to complete parole in the street. We'd then get our own place in my hometown. For the first time in a long time, he recognized he could have more. We had plans. He stayed out of trouble and did everything he was supposed to do. Parole wrapped up and we got a place. We were broke, with me being back to work for the first time since COVID and him stuck with whatever laborer jobs he could get. Lots of interviews. Lots of background checks. Lots of rejection. We stayed the course. We decided to open a very small business of our own. Picked up some cursory customers. Decided we would get married in Vegas as soon as my divorce was final. Try to fix our credit and save some money. Buy a house.

Two days ago, everything shattered. I was at work when he called me crying from the back seat of a state vehicle. The US Marshals came to the apartment we shared with my 13 year old Son. The landlord who knew nothing other than my fiancé's alias was present. They informed both of them that he was a sex offender and he had an open warrant back in that other county. He told me he was going to jail and asked me through sobs if I thought he'd been doing good. Yes, he'd been doing good for 18 months, then he made a fatal mistake. When I asked him how we'd handle the registry, he told me it was taken care of. Turns out in an effort to keep our secret, to ensure I would maintain custody of my Son and stay in the only apartment we could get, he registered at a former address in his old county. He thought it was the best course of action and I didn't press him for specifics. We were happy. Against all odds, we were making it work. I don't know who turned him in. It doesn't matter.

I haven't heard from him today and I feel like I'm gonna die. I lied to my Son and told him one of his exes made that false allegation up because he owes her a monstrous amount of back child support. I told him not to tell his Father or anyone else what happened. He's accepted my explanation for now but the jig is up. My ex is going to take him from me; it's only a matter of time. The landlord was momentarily satisfied with a similar explanation, but he's already asking questions about exactly how my fiancé spells his name and what town he's from. It won't be long now until he knows we lied to him and throws us out.

My fiancé was able to make one free 60 second call to me from the county jail the night this happened. He is supposed to see the judge on Friday and told me I can probably come get him Friday night and bring him home. I was very briefly ecstatic. Then I remembered.... his record is atrocious. If they release him at all, it will probably be with the stipulation that he not leave the county he's currently in, hours away. If he comes home to me, how long will we have until court? This is his third D felony for failure to register. A sentence of two years would be a miracle. A sentence of seven years more likely. And he'll have to register. And the game is over.

So, what's next? I already tried going to bed so I could wake up from this horrible nightmare, but that didn't work. I guess Friday we'll have our answer. Regardless of what happens, I'm coming clean to my Sister this weekend. Hopefully, she hears me out because I could really use her support. If he is released, we're going to have to tell the landlord the truth and ask him to give us time to relocate. To where, I have no idea. My Son will likely have to relocate to his Father's. We'll have to tell him why. And if he doesn't come home? If they remand him until court when he gets his sentence? Do I tell the landlord I didn't know? I was taken advantage of? Yes. I will beg him to let me finish the lease. We tell everyone the love of my life went away on the child support charge. And we wait to learn the length of our punishment. 

Apologies for rambling. If anyone has any insight that might make me feel less like performing a swan dive off the roof, now is the time.