I've been separated since January 2015. We lived in the same house until November of 2016. She asked for a divorce 1 week after my Mother's death in June 2016 - which was impeccable timing (LOL). Still, I took care of my Mother's funeral, was the only one capable of speaking and giving a eulogy (My father and brother could not speak). I never wavered. I never cried. People contacted me and told me I was a rock and that my eulogy was inspiration – that I set an example for my children on how to deal with adversity. I dealt with my ex-wife's statement of not loving me and wanting a divorce - weeks after my Mother's death. Not once did I crack. I heard what she said - walked away - and that was it.

Now, I feel horrible. I don't miss my ex-wife - I miss what we could have been. I miss my kids when I don’t have them. I miss what I wanted most - which was a complete family and a partner who was as concerned about me as I was about her. Someone intuitive and caring enough to notice when I was at my lowest.

Mostly, I feel anger. I've always done the right thing. I agreed to take on the house all by myself - I work 55-60 hrs a week - full time job and I do writing and consulting on the side - all to keep the house - pay her - and keep my kids in the house they grew up in.

Each time I think of throwing in the towel and selling the house, my son politely reminds me "Dad, you're going to be alone regardless, so it's best to be alone in the house you love and we love."

He’s 11 and my daughter is 9. I’m 45 and I’m not sure if I can do this. I realize now I am completely alone when I don’t have my kids. My mother is dead – father is in Florida and brother lives out of town. I’m all I have – and I am exhausted.