Not Standing up for myself is a major character flaw of mine. It is the number one reason I failed as a teacher. I couldn't control my classroom. I let the kids walk all over me. Now I have a boss who is a controlling, suspicious prick. The way he talks to me makes me feel like I don't know a thing about kid and work and like I'm always trying to get away with something. Just like my parents. I'm 47, I don't need this shit. But I won't tell him where to go because standing up for myself isn't acceptable. Besides, I'm a piece of shit that deserves it aren't I?

Or is this part of the same pattern? Don't fight, fail instead. That's more comfortable. There is an element here that I touched on in the last post; action is the key. I've tried it (standing up for myself) before, experienced some success, but the skill never took. This is a legitimate concern - I have no idea what the limits are. If I go too far I may get fired or at least disciplined. When does it become micromanaging on my part. I don't want to become a control freak myself in the process. How on earth do I set small goals towards not being a welcome mat anymore?