Self Hate Syndrome Community Group
This is a group designed to offer support to people who believe they are fundamentally bad and deserve to be punished. Here we can learn to stop the unholy war we have been waging against ourselves.
This was posted a little while back in response to a crisis post. Be encouraged my friends!
stevebhopes
View More Posts
Reply #1 - 05/31/15 12:35am
Your post hit me hard my friend. It took a lot of guts to be so honest. So many of the words I could have written myself just yesterday for then I felt just as you feel now. I looked at your profile and researched the conditions you deal with. Serious stuff. Do you give yourself even a tiny break considering the fact that you have been disabled to a large degree by conditions you didn't choose and that are not your fault? Do you really think the poster boys of success would have achieved their triumphs had they been hindered by all you have been saddled with? Do you think maybe, just maybe you are not the best judge of your worth? Is any of us objective about ourselves when we are depressed? The God I know doesn't judge as people judge. He takes all things into consideration. He is like a judge at the Special Olympics who cheers us on with eyes full of love though our pace is faltering and slow for he knows we are seriously disabled. Would you call one of them a failure and a loser or tell them they should just die? No you wouldn't, yet you mercilessly condemn yourself. My wife said to me tonight--I wish you could see yourself through my eyes because I think you are wonderful, with great potential. What was I doing earlier today? Saying--word for word--what you are saying now. As a result of her support and some healing writing my depression snapped and I experienced happiness. I hope it will last for I haven't known it in a long while, but even if it doesn't I hope I remember the good things I am seeing come to the fore in me. I see now a little of what she sees. The problems that utterly overwhelmed me I am not vexed by. All I am saying is that if the cloud you have had to carry would lift the world would see the intelligent and articulate and deep person I see you to be by your writing. We carry a cross we didn't choose. Yours has been heavy and the way long and discouraging. I don't care what you say I SEE UNREALIZED POTENTIAL AND I BARELY KNOW ANYTHING OF YOU. Please don't end it. God chooses the weak ones, the broken ones, the despised ones, the ones others call nothing and He chooses you and I. There is a race we must run, tasks we could never imagine that only we can do, and the very things we felt disqualified us in life will prove to be the wellspring of our strength.
Praying for you bro.
stevebhopes
View More Posts
Reply #1 - 05/31/15 12:35am
Your post hit me hard my friend. It took a lot of guts to be so honest. So many of the words I could have written myself just yesterday for then I felt just as you feel now. I looked at your profile and researched the conditions you deal with. Serious stuff. Do you give yourself even a tiny break considering the fact that you have been disabled to a large degree by conditions you didn't choose and that are not your fault? Do you really think the poster boys of success would have achieved their triumphs had they been hindered by all you have been saddled with? Do you think maybe, just maybe you are not the best judge of your worth? Is any of us objective about ourselves when we are depressed? The God I know doesn't judge as people judge. He takes all things into consideration. He is like a judge at the Special Olympics who cheers us on with eyes full of love though our pace is faltering and slow for he knows we are seriously disabled. Would you call one of them a failure and a loser or tell them they should just die? No you wouldn't, yet you mercilessly condemn yourself. My wife said to me tonight--I wish you could see yourself through my eyes because I think you are wonderful, with great potential. What was I doing earlier today? Saying--word for word--what you are saying now. As a result of her support and some healing writing my depression snapped and I experienced happiness. I hope it will last for I haven't known it in a long while, but even if it doesn't I hope I remember the good things I am seeing come to the fore in me. I see now a little of what she sees. The problems that utterly overwhelmed me I am not vexed by. All I am saying is that if the cloud you have had to carry would lift the world would see the intelligent and articulate and deep person I see you to be by your writing. We carry a cross we didn't choose. Yours has been heavy and the way long and discouraging. I don't care what you say I SEE UNREALIZED POTENTIAL AND I BARELY KNOW ANYTHING OF YOU. Please don't end it. God chooses the weak ones, the broken ones, the despised ones, the ones others call nothing and He chooses you and I. There is a race we must run, tasks we could never imagine that only we can do, and the very things we felt disqualified us in life will prove to be the wellspring of our strength.
Praying for you bro.
violetmist
Thanks for this Steve. It is very inspiring. You write well also.
brighte
This is a well spoken kind hearted soul
Join the Conversation