Self Hate Syndrome Community Group
This is a group designed to offer support to people who believe they are fundamentally bad and deserve to be punished. Here we can learn to stop the unholy war we have been waging against ourselves.
What's Prettier Than Freckles?
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with brightly-visible freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist, who was decorating them with tiger's paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint," a girl in line said to the little fellow. Embarrassed, the boy hung his head low. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl, I always wanted freckles," she said while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful." The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandmother's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
-Author Unknown
Are you worried about the way you look? Have you ever had difficulty looking at yourself in a mirror? Do you avoid having your picture taken? Is there anything that would make you feel better about your appearance?
An elderly woman and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled with brightly-visible freckles, spent the day at the zoo. Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist, who was decorating them with tiger's paws. "You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint," a girl in line said to the little fellow. Embarrassed, the boy hung his head low. His grandmother knelt down next to him. "I love your freckles. When I was a little girl, I always wanted freckles," she said while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. "Freckles are beautiful." The boy looked up, "Really?" "Of course," said the grandmother. "Why, just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles." The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandmother's face, and softly whispered, "Wrinkles."
-Author Unknown
Are you worried about the way you look? Have you ever had difficulty looking at yourself in a mirror? Do you avoid having your picture taken? Is there anything that would make you feel better about your appearance?
I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful. So smile often!
If anyone tells you that you are ugly, realize that you are encountering a toxic person. Avoid toxic people as you would avoid walking on broken glass on the ground. Find normal, healthy, well-adjusted people to be around.
Due to the severe starvation and malnutrition I went through in childhood, I have smaller extremities than is normal. My hands and feet are smaller than anyone I've ever met, other than infants. I have a short lower jaw, which makes my chin small, and that has gotten me called a lot of names by people. But I've come to realize that people who go around pointing out other people's physical features in life aren't worth listening to. They are just trying to direct attention away from their own imperfections. The people in life who are worth knowing are those who can accept their own and other people's differences. Now, can you accept your own differences?
My name is Sandrina. I'm 49 years old and used to be described by my husband as gorgeous and by others as striking. I have never liked my looks but thought I could have a normal life anyway. Now with progression hereditary illness PCOS and a possible cushings syndrome, I look disgusting and feel like a freak. I have tried getting help for the last several years from doctors and therapists with no avail. My self hatred regarding my looks is crippling my marriage and my children. My family is in crisis. I cannot find help for this problem anywhere. I recently looked for another therapist. After the interview, she stated that she would agree to see me as a patient but would not agree to talk about my problem with my looks. I get it that this is my problem and no one can make me look normal again, but I don't know how to stop this self hatred. It is hard to live a normal life as a freak. I would aprreciate anyones advice.
Thank you very much,
Sandrina